[Not the Onion] IDF is literally looking for "monsters under the bed" and finding them. (hexbear.net)

submitted 10 months ago by InevitableSwing@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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IDF spokesman's substack - Monsters Under the Bed - by Lt. Col. Richard Hecht.

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[-] halykthered@lemmy.ml 38 points 10 months ago

Hamas and ISIS were in the bedroom storing weapons with the babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

[-] featured@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago

And also the baby was beheaded

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 32 points 10 months ago

Putting a big sign that says "baby girl" with a cartoon sleeping baby next to it so that people know that a baby girl's bedroom is here and not a hamas weapons storage

yeah this is a normal thing for palestinians

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago

in english too

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

stashing all my illegal firearms in the room i labeled "طفلة" so the ATF won't find my illegal guns

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

This is almost funnier than Batman and the bees

[-] Comp4@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

thanks this got a chuckle out of me

[-] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

I heard they ate a gay baby

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

...in a temple dedicated to Arab Satan

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

If I didn't take that screengrab myself and I saw it on the net without a link to confirm it was real - I'd assume it couldn't be real. Shows what I know. We live in an insane era.

[-] impartial_fanboy@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

terrorist infrastructure

Oh that's a good term, really invalidates anything Hamas tries to do.

Build a factory to make rockets? Obviously terrorist infrastructure.
Build a power station to supply a hospital? They're hiding the rockets from the rocket factory in it, terrorist infrastructure.
Pour asphalt for a road? They're just making it easier for their trucks to transport the rockets from the rocket factory.
Put up some drywall? Well duh, they're trying to hide the rockets from the rocket factory that totally exists behind this unassuming wall that couldn't possibly have any other function, terrorist infrastructure.

It's just so versatile. Somehow I doubt if we started calling everything imperialist infrastructure that the media would be quite so accommodating despite it fitting the description much more aptly.

[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

"Thank you so much for being able to sit tonight. Aliyah's bottle is in the fridge, don't forget to warm it up for her and make sure she's in bed by 8:30 at the latest. Oh, and the rockets get launched at 9:15 sharp. Tonight's heading is 91.580, add on a couple of arcseconds if the wind picks up. Okay, that's it! Tootles!"