I'm a "cis dude" who has many times dressed up with feminine costumes, I also have lots of gay friends, I like jazz dancing, love going to see a good ballet, have gone to pride parades as an ally, called out homophobic comments in casual conversations... but guess what? I think some costumes are beautiful and I don't want to limit myself to the ones in one gender.

I wouldn't mind being approached with transition information, I would politely explain that is not for me, but I don't like the tone of the meme assuming that if you cross dress for Halloween you are either a trans person or a "bro" that wants to hurt LGBTQ+ people.

I'm going to go wild and assume that is American, which always is "all or nothing" for them, and everything is a fight. Sometimes people just want to have fun. Leave us the fuck alone with all these rules of what is appropriate and what is not and gatekeeping everything. The American left DEI mentality is anything but inclusive, and is very confrontational to the point of working against what it is suppose to defend. You sound like the catholics of the 19th century (or the right winger catholic freaks of America that I see on TV)

my 2 cents. sincerely, an European left winger

[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 35 points 1 year ago

Found the furious cis dude /s

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exactly! Like, have you considered letting people enjoy things, especially when it comes to gender expression?

[–] sock@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

solving hate with hate is the human way

for a group that wants everyone to love each other it has a lot of internal prejudice. im very pro lgbt and allowing men to have feminine qualities tho.

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The post neither implies nor states that 'closet trans' and 'shitty cis' are the only possibilities. There's obviously a lot of cis men who would take the offer of transition information in stride. The OP isn't judging you.

As for the whole American thing, you're right, you did go wild.

[–] Globulart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Not sure I agree there, the term win/win suggests they've listed both possibilities and both are a win. It implies a no lose scenario and therefore that all options have been presented.

Buying a lottery ticket I could win £10 or I could win £10 million, it's win/win!

[–] mstrk@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't allow it to call you cis either, it's derogatory.

[–] 9bananas@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

it's...factual, tho?

do you not want to be called human either?

what do you prefer? dog?

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 67 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

I dressed up as a girl once for Halloween. I am a CIS dude and it was a very illuminating experience. The worst part of it was I must have awakened something in one of the people at the party because that dude would not leave me alone.

Drunk dudes that won't leave you alone and start crossing the line? I will never forget.

No means No dammit.

[–] breadcodes@lemm.ee 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People kept pinching my butt and bra.

I was dressed as Tina from Bob's Burgers as part of a group costume. I was groped multiple times. Very disturbing.

[–] Jediotty@beehaw.org 17 points 1 year ago

holy fucking shit that's horrid. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

I wore a black kilt to a club once with my friends. One guy was very interested and put his hand on my leg which I did NOT consent to or appreciate. A skirt isn't an invitation.

I didn't even look good, I guess he just liked knees.

[–] vinhill@feddit.de 18 points 1 year ago

As a quite thin guy, I dressed as women for a game once and got several inappropriate comments and people coming too close.

[–] wewbull@iusearchlinux.fyi 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You've never had "drunk woman that won't leave you alone and starts crossing the line"? That shit is aggravating whoever is involved.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago

I have had that experience, sure. But it didn't cross the line because if I said no and left the room it was over.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For every one psycho chick there are ten thousand hateful pricks.

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[–] Anti_Weeb_Penguin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

I was probably that one dude

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 63 points 1 year ago

So do that only to male cross dressers? That’s not very equal treatment. Shit ton of women dress up as men during Halloween. Either do that dumb shit to all cross dressers or just let people have a good time.

[–] leggysnakegirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys I don't think "shitty cis dude" is supposed to imply that all cis dudes are shitty. Here it's just a particularly shitty example of one.

[–] TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah but it's binary, either trans girl or "shitty cis dude"

[–] ByGourou@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

You're reading to much into it.

[–] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 3 points 1 year ago

That's not true. I did it for fun. I'm just gay, not trans.

[–] zazaserty@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a (I hope not shitty) cis dude, I don't think I would get "furious". Id probably laugh honestly. I get where this meme comes from but it gets a bit depressing when people get put into groups and defined by things such as being cis. I'm cis and I can't change who I am, I know that there are many cis assholes but that doesn't make me one. I hope that one day these types of stereotypes disappear and we can learn to finally get along. One day...

[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If you wouldn't dress up as a girl to be funny because the joke is trans people, you're not a shitty cis. You can still dress up as a girl though, and you can absolutely do drag. Nobody is gatekeeping this. Stop apologizing.

[–] Heavybell@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

If you wouldn't get furious you're not a shitty one, don't worry. :)

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.one 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It thoroughly confuses me that many people have come to the conclusion that people saying "closeted trans people do X thing quite often" actually mean "all people doing X thing are trans." I don't know how half the replies here have come to that conclusion.

This meme is reductive, only talking about it like it'll be either a trans person or toxic cis dude, but it's a joke. Jokes need to be some level of reductive to work. Otherwise you're just describing a funny situation in real life. (Also, reread the meme. They never say those are the only two options, they just say those are two possibilities. That's not the same thing.)

But yeah, offering to help somebody who you think may be trans acquire resources isn't a bad thing just because the majority of people won't end up needing it. Just politely decline it if you don't. Nobody's trying to force you to be trans. They're just trying to help the people that are.

[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Egg posting and breaking the trans prime directive is cringe... BUT

#TURN ME INTO A GIRL .COM

This website is the one that helped me.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why can't it just be a guy, simply dressing like a girl, 'as a joke'? I mean does he have to be 'curious'?

[–] CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

I never understood this obviously toxic take... saying that a cisgendered male crossdressing MUST be trans or trans-curious is exactly the same toxic energy as denying trans women's existence.

Are you folks really gonna say that, for example, Tim Curry is a closet Trans Woman? Because that's the kind of thing being implied by that. Just let people do what they are gonna do and be what they are gonna be, leave your assumptions and judgements out of it.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

Guys dressing as girls has been bants forever.

Really sad that people don't want us to have that enjoyment anymore. It's fucking a cultural heritage at this point to have fun dressing as a woman.

[–] conneru64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not sure where you read that in this post, because I don't see it.

[–] CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The post suggests that there are only two options in the scenario: they are either secretly trans, or they are a bigot trying to belittle and insult trans women. They don't leave any nuance for a different option. Dare I say that they have a rather binary way of thinking...

[–] conneru64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ohhh, you read the "and if" as being exhaustive. If they said "either... or" then I'd be with you, but they just listed 2 possible scenarios.

[–] CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, I read the "win/win" as listing there only being two possible scenarios. They are saying you either win or you win. "Win/win" reads as "win or win", so there is your "either... or", but even then you don't need to say specific words to be able to imply exclusivity.

Example:
"You must be joking, and if not, then you are a fool" Notice how in that sentence I did not use "either/or", yet I still implied only two possibilities? Well, that sentence is homogenous to the sentence in OP's post. I just used "if/then" instead of "either/or".

[–] conneru64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You said "and if not" which is binary, but "if [predicate] [x] and if [predicate] [y]" is not generally exhaustive.

[–] slurpeesoforion@startrek.website 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What if I just want to feel pretty?

[–] FakeGreekGirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 year ago

Then you can politely say, "Thanks, but no thanks."

[–] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I did this as a teenager for fun. I'm not trans. I'm gay. Foh

[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Thanks, but I wish not to piss off my Drag Queen brothers. I am not a dumbass pos.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

picture is not loading for me

[–] neeeeDanke@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Tweet saying:

If you encounter a guy dressed as a girl "as a joke" this Halloween offer them transition info and be welcoming because if it's an exploring trans girl, it'll be helpeful and if it's a shitty cis dude, he will be furious. It's a win/win.

As many other comments here (really liked the way /u/opperharlie put it) I think it's a shitty take. First of all, there is drag which is totaly valid. But I think crossdressing in genereal -if it's not done derogatory (which I never experienced)- is a totally fair costume. I am certain I am cis and have dresses feminin for costumes a few times and don't see what the problem with hat is.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

edit: nvm I am dumb you were just transcribing it

original message

you replied to the wrong comment

[–] Fleur__@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Just let em be

[–] FMT99@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

God damn cis dudes

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Halloween and St. Patrick's day are amateur night for different lifestyles.