this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/WillingSite9111 on 2023-07-17 17:15:30.


I (28F) am a stay at home mom for my 3 kids 1M 3F and 5M. My husband (30M) is a biomedical engineer and works a lot. He is mixed. His mom is half black and his dad is black. I am white. Our oldest son looks somewhat “white” with blue eyes, paler skin than our other two, and light brown 3C hair.

Prior to this, my son had natural hair like the other 2, but absolutely hated everything about the maintenance it requires. My husband has cornrows. He always has and our oldest son loves them. He asked to get them himself, so I said yes. My SIL ended up doing it for him last weekend. I never thought this would be a problem.

I make sure to spend quality time with each of my children on their own every week, so after dropping my younger two off at my parents’ on Friday, I took my oldest out to go to the park, get ice cream, and go go-karting. We were having a lot of fun, until a white woman at the go-karting place chastised me for letting my “white son” get cornrows. I told her that he was mixed, but she said he looks white and shouldn’t have cornrows, and called his hair trashy. My son was luckily not paying any attention, but it really upset me and I am wondering if I might be the AH.

AITA for letting my son get cornrows?

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[–] SaintOfIllusion@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

NTA but the lady at the karting place sure is. All hairstyles are for all people regardless of race. Imagine gatekeeping hair and not minding your own business.

[–] Akaru88@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Regardless of the context, you made your kid happy. That matters way more that what some old lady’s unsolicited opinions.