memes

Yeahhh pretty girls will get you. I literally had a girl misgendering me and shit and In my mind i was like... why are we even talking let's make out. Bad brain

Plenty of miserable people are in relationships it doesn't really fix anything. I hope that you can find something that does make you feel less broken though. I'm sure that comes across as trite and insincere from an internet stranger but I've said some very similar things about myself, still do sometimes, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone

dating apps started meditating

The dating apps have gained sentience

I think people just have nowhere else to go. I've never downloaded a dating app (nor have I ever considered myself "on the dating market") because I've either been content to remain single for a stretch, or met someone through my existing communities; a friend of a friend, someone on the periphery of my social network, or just someone I've been around a bunch and never gotten to know well.

Dating is hard and it sucks, and the context it creates around getting to know someone puts such an immense pressure on you to show up and make a good first impression. Deciding to be romantically involved with someone (not to mention everything on the implied relationship escalator) I just met or have hung out with a few times would be nearly impossible for me. The only reason I could imagine myself doing it is if I had not had the kinds of periphery connections I mentioned above. The more I go on the internet in this stage of my adulthood, the more I realize a lot of people don't have the sort of community that enables these.

So many of the superficial heuristics that people use in the dating world (yes, including looks) become less relevant when you have the time to get to know someone organically, without any contextual direction, desperation, or pressure slapped on the connection. Then you come to realize that you really like each other's company and are starting to have feelings and there's a solid foundation for it to build from there. But of course capital has ripped through all our social tissue so I don't really have an answer, other than I lucked out. I did meet my most recent partner through organizing, whatever that's worth

That's why I don't even try, cuz I'm too pathetic for this kind of shit

Tell the story please

2011 was my last before my hour drive $50 drinks date last month

I've had some self-esteem issues over it but now multiple women are like "you're cute :)" and I'm all "fuck what do I do now"

Got in a relationship afterwards?

Anyway. I’ve been called handsome, pretty, and cute

Starting to believe you are the real Ryan Gosling

The thing is that leftists don’t have any kind of answer for men’s loneliness. Not even superficial ones.

The right will use Jews or communists or slutty women as scapegoats for all their problems. Then they propose that the solutions are: working out 34/8, treating women like trash, chasing money, and becoming Patrick Bateman unironically.

Regardless of how abhorrent these solutions and answers are, they’re explicit, at least. But leftists will correctly point to capitalism and alienation as one of the biggest, if not, primary driver of men’s loneliness.

So capitalism makes me busier and poorer to do anything. It commodifies relationships and turns it into an HR job screening. It promotes unhealthy values and qualities. Social media BAD!!! But… then what?

No one has anything to propose other than reading about the history of the bullshit we’re facing, which is fine, but then what? It doesn’t address anything. You’re equipped with knowledge about why life sucks but your dick remains unsucked and your friends are talking discord heads.

People’s attention spans are shit, so “manipulate women until they love you unconditionally even through abuse” = tangible goal, while “dismantle capitalism and patriarchy” = abstract goal that takes millennia. The other common suggestions are go get a hobby or talk to people in groups or events, but I think it’s pretty clear these suggestions fall on deaf ears. These people’s self esteem are likely nonexistent. They likely don’t believe anything anymore. So telling them they just need to try harder won’t work.

Becoming less toxic, more presentable and interesting, and more understanding the world around you are all good goals that should be suggested. But it doesn’t result in anything, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Teach me your ways

Good luck finding a leftist to give you concrete, actionable dating advice beyond "don't be creepy and don't smell weird." I posted a good video a while back, but sadly it got very little engagement here: https://hexbear.net/post/613122. I'd highly recommend that video as it gives concrete advice.

Don’t put them on pedestals. Which is easier said than done because finding someone attractive and pursuing them means they’re above everyone else in terms of priority and interest, so it’s basically putting them on a pedestal. But try to eliminate that “imagining a future with them” idea, at least when you’re talking to them. When you’re more focused on the conversation, you’re not picturing the two of you on some mountain top making out in the car while she’s talking about test scores.

People like to give the advice “people like talking about themselves so ask questions,” but don’t take this too literally. If you find yourself asking question after question because all she does is answer and say nothing else, move on. I don’t care how much people like talking about themselves. If you have no interest in contributing to the conversation, there’s no point in me humoring you. Trying to push it will just make you look desperate, aloof, or annoying.

Offer your contact info. If she cares about you, she might text you. Otherwise, move on. Women tend to feel obligated to keep replying to weirdos out of kindness or safety, so if she’s the one messaging you first and trying to keep you on the line, then maybe she’s actually interested, otherwise she can ignore you and you’ll be even weirder by bringing it up like “hey… I gave you my number last week but you haven’t texted me. Can you make sure I gave you the right one?”

Here’s the truth: ugly, weird, and/or bland people fuck. The world is harsh, but unless you’re physically disfigured such as the Green Man , society will give you a chance. I dont mean any of this to be insulting for those who are disfigured. It’s just being awkward or fat is not a deal breaker compared to having no mouth or eyes. In fact I think being pessimistic is more insulting (and I am guilty of this) because they likely have 0%-1% of finding someone whereas you just sound weird while talking to girls.

And there is not even honey in the moon to begin with 😰