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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/gobskin on 2023-10-07 05:57:59.
I moved in with my 4 friends at the beginning of this year for university. I brought up the importance of having a spare key but everyone said it would be useless because there was always someone in the house. Well, as of last night D-day came. Before I left my roommate said that she was going out to get sushi, and then my other roommate left for Accapella practice. I had a party for my frat that I needed to attend so I got my things, left the house and locked the door behind myself (as you do). This is important because my roommates are terrible at remembering their keys and always forget to lock the door (even in the middle of the night when everyone is home). Also important to mention no one was home.
So, I’m at the party and my roommate calls me saying to let her in. I said I was occupied and to call the other roommates. She calls them and apparently they offered to come and open the door for her or invite them to their locations. She turned them down saying that it was my mistake for locking the door and that I should have left it unlocked for her (I had no way of knowing she left her keys), and that it was my responsibility to rectify my mistake by letting her in. She contacted me again and I told her I was occupied. I then get a slurry of texts calling me an asshole and to “go f*** myself”. I thought she was just venting so I just turned off my phone and enjoyed the rest of the party.
I got home and she begins to scream at me for locking her out and then not letting her in, and forcing her to spend 2 hours outside on the porch steps in the cold. I asked why she didn’t get any of our other roommates and she gave me the same speech about it being my responsibility. I am very avoidant of conflict so I said, “sorry that you were out in the cold, but your poor planning does not constitute an emergency for me.” I then left, went to bed and have spent the day in bliss.
She has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since and has said she no longer wants to be friends with me. I am concerned she may be telling the truth and I don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I also don’t want to walk on eggshells around someone like that.
Am I the asshole?