this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Cauliflower9242 on 2023-10-06 21:09:16.


I (26F) have an older sister (28F). My sister is on the autistic spectrum but I’m unsure whereabouts on the scale she is. We’ve been informed she won’t be fully independent but she’s getting help to try and be as independent as she can by making her life easier for her.

Our parents are now both deceased unfortunately but our sister was very much allowed to get away with stuff as a child. For instance if she didn’t want to wash for a week she didn’t have to. If she wanted ice cream for dinner she could have ice cream for dinner.

The thing is my brother and I work full time and he has a family of his own now. We’re never around and felt this would be neglegent and unfair to our sister so moved her into assisted living where she lives with other female special needs adults and a support worker. Because my brother has a family and I don’t I pay 75% and he pays 25% of her cost.

My sister stays round every weekend and I take her places to make it enjoyable. As a child my sister was allowed to eat as much takeaways as she wanted and I decided to be strict. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I’m too tired to cook after coming home from work so I do get a takeaway. She asks for a takeaway all the time when she’s round mine and I say no we’re having a home cooked meal. She goes into a meltdown and won’t eat the home cooked meal. There is food in the house she can eat.

My brother thinks I’m being an asshole for not letting her eat what she wants for meals so AITA for refusing to give in and let her eat what she wants?

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