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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Rain9 on 2023-10-06 18:41:50.
I (27f) have been invited by my friend Tom (32M), as a plus one to his older brother's wedding (36M).
Tom and I met at a party and have been friends for 10 years. He asked me out when we first met and I said no. He's been in a few relationships over the years and had a long-term girlfriend for four years.
Tom broke up with his long-term gf in March and asked me out quite a few times afterwards. This caused tension within our friendship, but the last time we spoke about it, he seemed to understand that I wasn't interested, and a relationship with me was never going to be on the table.
His family has been putting pressure on him settling down and getting married, especially since his brother got engaged. He asked me if I could be his plus one to his big brother's wedding so he wouldn't go alone, and I (reluctantly) said yes.
Tom told his brother about me, and his brother said he'd like to meet me before the wedding "in case it's awkward" and he doesn't want anyone ruining his wedding. I thought this was a tad strange because I'm only a plus one. I'm not part of the wedding party. But I said sure, arrange something if you want to.
Tom's brother has since told his mother and father about me. Now his mother wants to meet me before the wedding too, as Tom said: "just to make sure you'll fit in with everyone". I feel like I'm being screened and I'm finding it kind of offensive.
I'm starting to think maybe Tom has implied I'm more than a friend to his family. It's making me uncomfortable.
So, WIBTA if I pulled out of the wedding? Or is this normal and I'm being overly sensitive?