this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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[–] blind3rdeye@lemm.ee 59 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn't just playing with my dick while doing it.

But now that I'm older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn't really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren't looking at me wondering if I've got a boner, and they probably don't care if I do unless I'm also staring at them or something. .... So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn't great, so it isn't always easy to tell.)

[–] Spookyghost@sh.itjust.works 18 points 18 hours ago

I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it's you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you've noticed another person with a 'jacket zipper boner'.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Zipper less hoodies don't seem to do this ime

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

IDK why this is downvoted; it's literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.

At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can't really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.

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[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 34 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.

[–] fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 19 hours ago

You wear crop top jackets?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 16 hours ago

You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it's flattering. 😌

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 121 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 70 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 10 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you too, Docker pants.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 2 points 17 hours ago

They're terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you've peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 23 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

You gotta give!

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[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I actually just have a boner.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 21 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not...

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 14 points 18 hours ago

Make sure to scream things like "yeaaaah, that's it!" and "more, more!" when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.

[–] Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 21 points 22 hours ago

When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 20 points 21 hours ago

Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!

[–] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 53 points 1 day ago (6 children)
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

It is always jeans season on Lemmy

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[–] frigidaphelion@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 1 lmao definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it

[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 4 points 22 hours ago

You should get that checked

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Never be ashamed of a good boner.

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago

Ah to be young again!

[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 5 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that Curb episode, isn't it the first one even? So great. ^^

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

"There's a man in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"

[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 3 points 20 hours ago

A WATERBOTTLE IT'S JUST A WATERBOTTLE! xD

[–] 1hundred47@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

The very first!

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

As a tall freak of nature, I'm just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don't know how good you have it.

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No way that thing has gotten me into more places than it's gotten me kicked out

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

Tummy boner tummy boner

[–] Anamnesis@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

This bullshit is why I never wear zip up sweatshirts.

[–] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Zip-up hoodies are the only sweaters I wear.

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