Games

The problem with monopoly is that it fits your description....BUT!!! nobody actually plays it the right way. House rules are so ingrained into monopoly culture, that I've incorporated my own house rule. Anyone who puts money under free parking gets stabbed with a knife. When they tell me that's not in the rules, I tell them to show me where money under free parking is in the rules. There's so many of these house rules that people legitimately think are in the rulebook. They aren't. So if you want to put money under free parking, I want to stab your hand with a knife. House rules and all.

One time I was playing monopoly with my mom. She had 53 dollars, and landed on boardwalk. It was unowned. I yhen said "I bid $54. She said "you can't do that....". I showed her in the rule book where I could, and she got angry at me.

So, the problem with monopoly is that most people assume they know how to play, and also assume they know the best stratagies. They don't.

The best stratagy is actually to buy 1 of each property that can have houses built on them. Prioritizing the low cost properties first. Make THEM buy 2 of each, thinking they'll get the monopoly, thinking they'll get a trade. Then drain them further with the railroads and utilities. Eventually they'll run out of money. Just NEVER trade them a property that would allow a path to them getting a monopoly.

Of coarse, all of that is easier said than done. That's what makes it a game. But it all falls apart if people aren't playing the same game.

I will always recommend base Catan. It's simple enough that anyone can learn to play fairly quickly, and moves quickly enough that no one gets that mad if they lose. If anything, I find losing a game usually coincides with people understanding it better and being open to playing another round so they can demonstrate that understanding.

I'm sorry, but if you have this problem, it's entirely caused by who your players are as people, not by the games itself. Even cooperative games leave people that get pissed, pissed at each other. For example, if one person wants to do something that another person finds suboptimal, and then the cooperative game is lost some time later.

I love Deep Rock Galactic, Terra Mystica, Mysterium.

Cottage Garden is very satisfying. You Tetris together garden pieces to fill plots and you can cover a single spot with a sleeping kitty. There’s scoring and competition, but it’s not antagonistic in any way.

I’m also a big fan of cooperative games in general.

Honestly, it depends

My favourite board game without a doubt is diplomacy, but those games go for like 6+ hours and requires 7 people. Also everybody will be yelling at everybody at some point, so yeah probably not a good pick lol

That being said, my favourite game to bring out for people not too into board games is wingspan. Fairly simple board game with enough depth to it. Also it has cute drawings of birds

Zombie Kidz is quick, cooperative, and has plenty of achievements (with a sticker book to record them) as well as unlockables through gameplay. You get to use teamwork and planning, and turns occur in quick succession.

I think it might tick every box you mentioned.

Waaay obscure, but one of the few board games I've ever really enjoyed is solarquest.

I've played plenty of the usual board games over the years. They just weren't anything I ever played because I wanted to play them. It was something to do, and people seem to naturally gravitate towards card and board games.

I had a chess phase in my younger days. I still play checkers checkers from time to time. "Chinese" checkers too, along with go. But those are still things that I'll suggest when I'm with someone and looking for something to do while bullshitting.

I hate Life, and only play monopoly with the understanding that when I'm done with it, I'm going to give everything I have to whoever is the most behind. Sorry is okay, as is parcheesi.

But solarquest, I'll find people willing to play with me because I like it. That and heroquest, but heroquest isn't really a board game the way I think of the term, it's a constrained ttrpg.

Both of those, my mom got me for Christmas after I begged for them, and I've never once been disappointed with them. I got both of them the year they came out, so we're talking decades of play with both.

Heroquest, I used as a board with the figures good my d&d play for a long time as well as playing it as its own game.

Heroquest is cooperative, so I can definitely recommend it for low to zero conflict play. You're uncovering a map, finding treasure, building a character. It's d&d lite, in the best way. Original versions are expensive, but there's a ton of printable versions out there, and it was rereleased in 2021.

Solarquest is essentially space themed monopoly on the surface. But, beyond your pieces being rockets and the concept of buying up parts of the solar system, there's the flight mechanics where you have to have the fuel to go from one planet to the next. It adds a layer of thought and fun to it. Plus, you're learning some local astronomy.

There's rules for laser fights, and special roll actions, available as optional rules. It's just fun. There's an updated version available with more recent astronomy, fancier supplies and such, but I haven't bought it yet.

Both of them are games I play with other old farts, as well as kids of all ages. I genuinely can't recommend either of them enough.

micromacro crime city is fun. It's kinda like a giant Where's Waldo map except you solve mysteries as a team.

Tsuro is a very quick, Zen game. It's tile placement and stone movement.

Obviously if you don't like S.H., you probably won't like The Resistance or Avalon. But from the same publisher, there's Coup (a game of creative lying), and Grifters (an engine-builder made up of resource collection with a crime theme). I like them both and they're very quick.

I don't think Fluxx could lead to long term frustration, because it's just so wild.

Catan is a classic and it's never caused tempers in my group.

I think it really depends on how many people are playing. I'm not up on my board games but maybe someone more knowledgeable can chime in