this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

So nobody is going to talk about how he said "without the intent to fertilize an embryo" and not "fertilize an egg"? You can't fertilize an embryo lmao

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

This is a stunt bill designed to draw attention to how anti-woman most anti-abortion laws are

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I want to believe this is a satirical bill meant to bring attention to how absurd a lot of other bills are, but it is Mississippi. And with how things are going these past several years, it's becoming harder and harder to tell at face value if something is an Onion or not.

[–] Lesrid@lemm.ee 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Here's to the land you've torn out the heart of/

Mississippi find yourself another country to be part of/

[–] skeezix@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Did you know that Mississippi is the anus of the US?

[–] nekbardrun@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago

In this thread:

A lot of men who didn't read the article and didn't got the satirical part of the act.

And given the last political polemic, I'm pretty sure these "men" are misrepresenting the article on purpose.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Contraception begins in the hand

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Very touching. Touching also begins in the hand

[–] Critical_Thinker@lemm.ee 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material

Genetic Material is DNA. Dry skin falling off is technically discharging genetic material. As is bleeding...

Technically a woman would be grossly violating this with every period... or by giving birth.

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

Did you miss this?

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (17 children)

That's satirical, right?

Right?

[–] JB33@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Yes, it's proposed to show how dumb the "life begins at conception idea" is. Blackmon doesn't actually want this to pass

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

yes, it is intended to highlight how anti-woman mst anti-abortion laws are

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Read the article.

"In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

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[–] Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win 141 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

To highlight how absolutely stupid this bill is, it sounds like it would outlaw menstruation and nocturnal emissions.

Land of the free.

Edit: it sounds like this is intentionally facetious to point out the absurdity of other pro-life bills.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 70 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I would love to outlaw menstruation too but my fucking body won't listen to me

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Careful, that post could be used against you in the court of law!

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago

Yes, correct, it is as absurd as pro-life ideas.

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It's really telling how much the Overton window in the US has shifted that you thought this was sincere to start with.

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[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 123 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If the Democrats aren't going to be useful, I'm glad they've at least decided to be a little funny.

[–] Hominy_Hank@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

It's a race to the bottom now. And the Republicans have a huge head start. Dems are nosediving to catch up.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.

Then you have the wrong job as a representative.

[–] endeavor@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

I'd say he is perfect for the role and he is sure to raise through the ranks of american politics at a rapid pace.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

I believe this makes it a woman's duty to take all erections up the right hole.

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.

That state senator is a visionary!

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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 58 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I didn't see the party of the politician in the article, so no idea if it is written in jest or just regular old Republican whackiness.

The most entertaining part is that it is written as applying to men, but as written it is gender neutral and would penalize menstruation.

Edit: It is a Dem having a lark.

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[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (6 children)

10k just be be able to jerk it 3 times? This guy is a loser. I'll jerk it all day for free. He can't charge me a fee

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[–] A_A@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (11 children)

🤣
SECTION 1.
(1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

Shit, I vomited without intent to fertilize an embryo

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[–] Critical_Thinker@lemm.ee 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material: ... ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

So basically it's illegal to do so without the intent to fertilize an embryo... unless doing it as part of a contraceptive method? Isn't abstinence - e.g. not having sex - a legitimate method?.... wouldn't masturbation be a way to manage abstinence?

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[–] victorz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

So what is this? Some kind of anti masturbation law?

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (4 children)

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

The article is very short.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

My article is 12 inches and very girthy actually, thank you! There used to be a surgeon in California to help you all with short articles. Sadly, you know, the fires...

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Short article, yet you failed to include the third that makes it illegal to jerk it:

"As written by Sen. Bradford Blackmon, the bill would make it “unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.”"

[–] nepenthes@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Because it's SATIRE!!

If anyone is unsure-- look the senator up, he's a Democrat.

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[–] WordBox@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It took me less time to find out what this was about than to make this response.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Careful, stroking your ego like that puts you at risk of violating this law.

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