"No more Mr. Beast bars please SIR I have diabetes now!" I meekly cry out as the Hype Crew Enforcement Officer beats me down
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I Have No Appetite and I Must Eat Mr. Beast Burgers
Ok fine but I get to just hang out in the closet away from the noise
You WILL do the Tik Tok group dance challenges. You WILL build your brand.
a brand idea for Mr. Beast involving the red-hot end of an iron bar
Yeah fine OK
We're in 2020 motherfucker, you are a hype serf. Bitch, you live in LA. You are a peasant. You need to give your fuckin' lord the grain. Your fucking children, you've had 15 children. You've never taken a bath. You've literally never. washed. your. penis. You've never used toilet paper. Motherfucker, you have worms. You are dying. You've had 40 children, 3 of them are alive. 2 of them are child soldiers in the Duke's army.
Bitch, the greatest thing you can hope for is to die at the old age of 36. You fucking can't read. You don't know what TV is. If you were transported into today, you would be the worst gamer of all time. You don't know shit. You literally probably don't even know what the direction 'left' is. I'm sure some Medieval guy is gonna get mad at me for this, bitch I've been to the Youtube Fair. I've eaten a large turkey wing, which the Juggalos call 'bitch beaters', which I think is problematic but a funny thing to call them.
Motherfucker, you gotta recognize where you are, and then you gotta get passed that. You gotta be unemotional. You can't sink into this hole. You live in the oubliette. Your job is to crawl up the ladder, motherfucker. You live in the HOLE. You're in the HOLE. You are a RAT. And the rat, when he's in the hole gets fucked. People only throw trash in the hole.
You need to eat a body. And you need to carry the plague. And you need to carry a plague around this whole world, that will change this whole fuckin world. And all your enemies will vomit black bile and will choke on blood and will grow boils and die. But only if you get together with your other RATS. And you come up with some kind of super plague, to fuckin end your enemies and...
End. This. Nightmare.
And you WILL be a little bit giggly.