this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
269 points (87.7% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 152 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This probably isn’t true, but like if it is, you shouldn’t have to be told to not let your dog fuck your ass. Your Dad is reacting exactly how any sane person would in that situation.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

"Violence is isually the answer."

  • Roadhog
[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 133 points 1 week ago

Hey, I just wanted you to know that I didn't like your post.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 99 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Anon screwed the pooch and is now in the doghouse.

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly I've never actually slowed down to truly parse the phrase "screw the pooch". Well, now I have, and also fuck you because I used to be innocent 😭

[–] Tower@lemm.ee 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Holy shit. I thought I was being witty using that idiom instead of screwed the pooch. TIL it's already a thing, moreover the origin story of screwed the pooch.

[–] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The origin doesn't include actually having sex with a dog though. "Fuck the dog" was just an expression for being lazy and "screw the pooch" simply makes it more palatable.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Whether the action was feeding, walking, or fornicating, though, all of these early examples were used to mean “to loaf around” or “to waste time” (dogs have often been associated with laziness, as in the expression “dogging it”). Later on, possibly around World War II, “fucking the dog” and its euphemistic equivalents took on a secondary meaning of “blundering.”

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ok, so Google up fornicate one time

[–] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

I know what fuck means too. Read the first sentence again... "all these early examples" are expressions referring to being lazy, with later meaning to include blunders. It was never actually an expression that suggested someone was fucking a dog or a degenerate, but instead just a vulgar expression of someone being lazy.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago

Dog gone it!

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[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 93 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So George Carlin voiced the conductor in the US. Someone mixed in his standup with the show, and it's pretty great.

https://youtu.be/ov4RwjQGye0

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought it was Ringo Starr?

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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[–] FozzyOsbourne@lemm.ee 76 points 1 week ago

Once again an abominable greentext could have been avoided if anon would just have a damn shower!

[–] gmanlikescheese@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 3 points 1 week ago

i liek choccy milk

[–] tooclose104@lemmy.ca 48 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago

"be moaning like an anime girl" fucking lost it

[–] hmmm@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 week ago
[–] OmegaCloud@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Anon became a white woman.

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i don’t know what this means, but i hate you for writing it

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (11 children)

You'll hate me too for explaining it, there's a running stereotype that white women fuck their dogs.

I didn't make it up and I don't spread such stereotypes, but that's what they meant by their above comment.

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (7 children)

well that’s just stupid and racist.
but i appreciate the explanation and don’t hate you.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm inclined to agree on that lol. No problem, and I'm glad we can continue a state of hatelessness between us!

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

my new year’s resolution is that you and i maintain our mutual lack of hatred for each other.

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[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Does engaging and explaining such stereotypes count as spreading them?

[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

This is my first time hearing about that. Many people are extremely stupid, so it makes sense some notion like that would be idiotic racist bullshit that various losers would believe.

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[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 1 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure why, but I feel like theres a different word underneath the word fella.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago

too tired to move

Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit. WTF anon?

[–] OmegaLemmy 25 points 1 week ago

I should have just scrolled away

1000014574

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

Red Rover
Red Rover
Peanut butter trick
for Ben Dover

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago

Well, fuck. Not just squick, but full-on nightmare fuel.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago
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