this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
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Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!

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[–] herinaceus@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is my first downdoot on a blahaj post post, or probably meme in general... I get it's mostly just a joke, but still.

Cis people aren't all fucked in the head or clueless, just like trans people aren't. Allies are able to push for, or at least support trans rights, and unfortunately are a lifeline for trans folk that get shoved out of discussions for "bias."

The "cis bad" memes just add to the lack of understanding, and force and "us vs them" mentality, based only on gender expression. It's not even an optics thing... It just comes off as wanting to be a victim, before Mr Chadson or Ms Becky have been transphobic, or pushed for a bathroom bill, which almost demands a defensive attidude from them both.

Anyways, I have talked with people that are painfully unaware of how gender works/exists. Whether intentional or not, it is not a great time. I would dip out of the interaction ASAP, unless they are trying to understand or learn, which is kind of rare in most cases.

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[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 108 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Of course you'll have a better time talking about gender with other gender enthusiasts. It's like complaining about how normies can't have a conversation with you about cars for as long as car enthusiasts could.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 54 points 4 days ago (4 children)

‘Gender enthusiasts’ is probably my second favorite euphemism for trans people now. The first being from an old lady who was trying to politely ask if a woman was trans and asked if she was “a woman by choice” 😂

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

starts recording

Okay YouTube, this is my list of the TOP 10 genders of 2024! Tell me how many on this list you know about in the comments below. Leave a like and subscribe and let's get into it. I'll also be having a new video out soon about the best genders upcoming in 2025.

But before we get into todays video I would like to thank todays sponsor. This video has been sponsored by the Association of Gay Frogs

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"factory stock" vs. "aftermarket custom"

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 13 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Y'all overclock your gender?

[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 3 days ago

I rather like the sound of "a woman by choice", since it implies she is a woman, that it is a choice, and that the choice does apply. I'd be curious to hear opinions from trans people about that, but it seems very respectful.

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 49 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

The fact that it's an evenly split partisan issue with only 0.5% of the population being trans means that you have A LOT of cis allies. Like, statistically, you're more likely to meet several dozens of understanding people than another trans person unless you actively limit your exposure of non-trans people.

There are probably some (not many but some) trans people who conform to binary gender identity beliefs, too, they simply want to be the other gender.

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[–] cook_pass_babtridge@feddit.uk 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Talking about trains with my fellow train drivers:

Talking about trains with those fucking idiot bus drivers who don't know shit:

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 57 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"That's right! It goes in the square hole!"

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 40 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't remember this part of sex ed.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

American sex ed fails again.

Americans get sex ed??

[–] ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 42 points 4 days ago

there are so many people out there who can not fathom that the world could in fact be more complex than the version of it presented to them when they were children.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 40 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Im a cis person(tho probably not the kind you meant) and i think talking about gender is pretty tiring. I think everyone has their biases and everything but you can make yourself a good person by trying to understand why you have those biasesa at least. And also gender is a prettt complex thing.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If you’re being open minded and respectful even if you don’t understand something (or disengaging if you can’t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, aren’t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

It’s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think they’re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring 🥲

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 19 points 4 days ago (4 children)

lol no disrespect, but you did just say “be open minded and respectful” after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

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[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Let's be honest here, that's a long way of saying "the vast majority of people couldn't give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish I'd stop talking about myself for a minute" 😂

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[–] themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I got hit with the exact opposite yesterday: "gender cannot be only performative because patriarchy exists and that would mean invalidating people hurt by it"

So tiring

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

So close yet so far, the entire point is that it's performative and therefore millions of people were hurt for no real reason.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Can you please explain this in simple words to someone not knowing too much about how gender is 'performative' ?

I'm not a native speaker but I'm usually okay but new things needs to be learned :-)

A link is welcomed too ofc!

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 37 points 4 days ago (10 children)

Stealing the answer because I'm nowhere near as articulate on this matter:

The basic (and simplified) idea is that gender--what we think of as masculine and/or feminine--is performed in the ways we act, speak, dress, move, etc. and doesn't really exist outside of that performance. We learn how to perform this way from dominant culture and conventions--what someone might (incorrectly) call "normal male" or "normal female" behavior. But these "normal" qualities (and genders themselves) don't actually exist--rather, we are all repeatedly mimicking them and are rewarded for doing so (or punished for not doing so). We merely impersonate the qualities we've been taught match the gender we've been told we possess (like females being demure or males being aggressive) until those impersonations (and gender itself) become belief and seen as something natural and assumed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/4dddcq/eli5butlers_gender_performativity/

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Thank you very much!

Very simple to understand too IMO.

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[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 26 points 4 days ago

I literally had a moment today where I had to explain to a coworker that some feminine presenting women can have xy chromosomes or swyer syndrome. That apparently jenga towered his cis male beliefs on gender.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The more I look into genders and try to understand it the less I understand. On the gender wiki (apparently gender is so complex it has its own wiki??) I was reading about 'genderfae' and 'genderfoe' kinda understanding it, kinda not. But when I got to the comments and I saw "gender ≠ pronouns" in the comments and I just gave up trying to understand anything 😭
I'm sure I'll look into it more at some point but for a '3am browsing Wikipedia because I can't sleep™️' adventure I did not have the critical thinking for that level of thought

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

When someone tells me their gender I nod and move on. I neither really care nor do I care to understand it.

[–] Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago

Exactly my thoughts.

I'll call you whatever you want, as long as it's not too wacky.

It's all good as long as you feel comfortable in your own skin. I couldn't care less what you identify as, it doesn't impact my life in the slightes.

You do you.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 4 days ago

FWIW I would consider regular Wikipedia a much better source to learn about transgender 101 topics, the stuff you’re talking about is really niche even within the trans community, haha

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 3 days ago

The gender wiki is a bit much for me. I think a lot of its articles need to get revised a bit.

[–] Soleos@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I see it as a heightened period of different people "trying shit out" when it comes to new gender identities. None of these are necessarily definitive norms that will define future society. As with any aspect of language and culture, it's a part of an ongoing process of evolutionary change, adaptation, and discovery. Some might call it a church, some might call it a shifting paradigm, but it's always going to be a bit messy and won't necessarily make perfect sense right away.

[–] CEbbinghaus@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The real problem is that studying human behaviour when it comes to gender/sex is inherently flawed as any attempts to isolate nature & nurture would be inhumane. Imagine raising a baby from birth to adulthood never having interacted with another human being just to see whether they portray the behaviours we associate with their gender / sex.

My personal opinion is that it's probably a little of column A, & a little of column B. The higher levels of testosterone in the male sex would naturally lead to higher levels of aggressiveness. But the extent to which that would impact our daily behaviours is a huge unknown. Presumably it accounts for enough to be measurable but not enough to make a difference. But who knows.

P.s If you know more about this than me and have a study that disagrees with me please post it. Haven't done my research as this isn't something I think about day to day.

[–] Quadrexium@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I think someone in the 1900s tried isolating a baby from human contact and it just died of stress.

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