1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
As a neurodivergent dude growing up emotionally neglected (with cptsd because of that), I only started living after I left home.
My advice, and that was really hard for me - start trusting people. Not blindly, but at least try. Also, ask for help. You will be surprised by the amount of people that actually say yes.
Oh, later edit - learn to cook. Basic stuff at first, but that will help with your diet, your budget, impressing some so...
I have one criteria for being an adult:
"Being an adult requires you to know when it is appropriate to be childish"
With this I mean that it is ok to have fun and be childish as long as you stop when it isn't appropriate, you like building Lego?
Great! Just make sure you have the budget before indulging.
You like playing with plastic dinasaurs?
Fantastic! But make sure to clear the table before eating dinner!
Way too many people take themselves way too serious all the time, relax and joke on your own expense from time to time.
Get yourself a general idea of any subject you need to contact the government or a company about.
Get over any phone phobia when calling the government or an organizationfor help.
"Hi, I am , I am calling about and how I should do , is that something you can help me with?"
The above template should get you going, pretend to be happy and friendly when calling.
Pretending to be happy will make you happier, fake it till you make it!
Or just Embrace Peter-Pan Syndrome
Eh, not really, I promise you I am quite disillusioned with the current state of affairs in politics and society in general, but I have found that very little is gained by staying angry/pissed off in general.
And much is gained by staying positive, even against the odds, I get a lot of energy from my positivity, and others do as well.
I think you missed the first section when I spoke about my definition of being an adult is when you know when it is APROPRIATE to be childish, that also means knowing when it isn't apropriate to be childish.
If I am in a meeting, I will stay serious, but if I am interacting with kids I will be more childish and share in their experience.
Try not to shave against the grain, and use soap or shaving cream, or that shit will hurt.
Nearly all your major appliances in your home have a filter that needs replaced or cleaned on a regular basis (fridge, HVAC system, dishwasher, dryer, etc.). Doing so and doing a quick clean of the appliance will improve its efficiency, life span, and most importantly save you on your electric bill.
Not sure where the filter is or what maintenance to do? A quick Google search of "how to clean fridge filter" or "where is the air filter for my heat pump" should start to give you an idea of what needs done.
Give yourself a break, you'll be amazed at the person you are in 5 years. Every part of your experience is normal and natural because it happened, it's okay to struggle to pump gas or not know how to pay a bill or what a credit score is. You didn't know, so it's natural and normal not to know. Now you'll look it up and leaen
Budget. Learn about good vs bad debt. Never live above your means and maximize savings and investments as early as possible. Time is your greatest asset when you’re young, there’s plenty of headroom in a comfortable lifestyle when you have an emergency fund and no outstanding debts.
Despite what the world tells you, you're allowed to ask for help every so often. Shit ain't easy, but some shit's easier for some people than others. Hell, libraries and community centers regularly hold classes and programs around uneasy thing run by people who found an easy way. Like resume building, financial knowledge, assorted life skills, etc.
Life is largely about networking. In other words, it is about tribalism. Shape yourself into the person people want in their tribe. Work your way into the tribe you want to belong within.
Meritocracy is the only form of governance that is capable of real growth. This applies everywhere. If the tribe only has role models that are dead, or some excuses as to why they do not look up to people like Nobel laureates, they are stagnant.
There are a lot of people and businesses in the world that are funded as a loss. People that inherit wealth are usually the cause. Never trust such people more than you are forced to. People that inherit wealth are usually incompetent and make poor financial and business decisions. Most are either barely breaking even, or hemorrhaging money but still have more than they can burn. These will go through phases or whims of stupidity where they mistreat those that rely on them. Look for merit.
Never trust anyone that tells you what kind of money they make when they are self employed. They are telling you an exaggeration of what they made on their best single job or day. That is totally irrelevant to their average or worst month.
Never run your own business as a job. If all you can do is live paycheck to paycheck with a business, you've already failed. You will not weather the ups and downs and you have no ability to adapt to a changing world. You absolutely must be able to bank 10%+ above and beyond all overhead and taxes or you will not survive for more than a few years.
Never think about starting a business outright. Do the thing on the side as a hobby while you work at another job. When you are turning down lots of work because you don't have the time, that is when you quit your job and start a business.
Money is cruel. It is the fundamental means of survival, but unfortunately it is also the primary form of human social hierarchical display. This is barbaric, inhumane, primitive behavior. A more socially advanced species will use awards, accolades, and reputation, or performative merit to establish social hierarchy. We all exist in a caste system regardless of how culturally forward or hidden the class divide may seem at first. Keeping these elements of society in mind will help you understand how and why a lot of things happen the way they do, and the kinds of people that may help you.
What ever you do, DO NOT take chances that might get you disabled.
I'd say read books that interest you. Buy and read as many as you can (physical books) before the current digital age destroys them all.
Edit: And keep those books, whatever books you find!
Keep on schedule. Time is money and delaying things can make it hard if not impossible to finish. You will have a lot of demands and little support. Going to college after highschool is easier than in your 30s when you are juggling a lot more responsibilities.
No path in vain: for example, always take plates with you and put them directly in the dishwasher when you are on your way to the kitchen anyway.
For girls/women, I think it's important to read The Gift of Fear, as well as The Care & Keeping of You.
Otherwise, as someone that basically did the same thing, I'd say never be afraid to Google something if you don't know it, and if possible get into therapy.
It quickly becomes maladaptive
