this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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all 30 comments
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[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 91 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

…learn…Quagmire…impression…

Got it.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago

He got shit on for being inaccurate, not the sexual stuff. She was a keeper and he fucked up bad on someone who automatically gets a ring. Shame.

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 weeks ago

Giggity giggity

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 76 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I remember a girl telling me once of an experience with a guy for whom it was his first time, and to ease his nerves he kept doing family guy quotes and impressions.

Since hearing that story I've never felt inadequate in bed.

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 13 points 2 weeks ago

family guy quotes and impressions.

Just so long as he didn't do an impression of Stewie seeing a vagina for the first time...

[–] cobalt32@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I have a friend who did this exact same thing his first time. Maybe it's more common than one might think.

By chance, is the girl's name Ivy?

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

He's been boning his way across the country feeding girls this first time story

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

No, I think Sarah. This was in the MySpace days tho

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 5 points 2 weeks ago

Look, she still had a good time, all right!?

You can tell it's fake because it's a woman voluntarily telling a man what's bothering her.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 28 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It annoys me her name isn’t capitalized. I’ve been noticing this problem a lot lately at work too.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A lot of languages don't capitalize names, or anything English speakers consider a "proper noun". English may not be their first language or their native tongue.

I think even some English speaking cultures don't capitalize proper nouns.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 8 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, I’m referencing documentation I know for a fact is written by native speakers as well as some internal communications.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You know, you're lucky you're good at 🎺 my 🎺 or I'd never put up with ya. You know what I'm talking about, when you 🎺 lubed-up 🎺 toothpaste in my 🎺 while you 🎺 on a cherry 🎺 Episcopalian 🎺 extension cord 🎺 wetness 🎺 with a parking ticket, that is the best.

[–] youstolemyname@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Taurus.
You will never find true happiness.
What you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up.
Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.

[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

pulling beads on a string off screen

You know what this is...the kids don't know but we do...

[–] Rooskie91 8 points 2 weeks ago

He hehehehehehehe'd when he should have giggity'd.