this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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Some of the many species Jeffrey Combs has evolved into:

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[–] macrocarpa@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Asking with curiosity and respect, for those in the "keeping my name" camp -

You were given your name by your parents, and most often the surname is the father's surname.

Most of you adopt nicknames or pet names which change over time (what your family calls you vs your friends vs your colleagues)

Why is it a really big deal to you? Is it being asked / expected to change your name by a societal norm / being told what to do? Or the effort involved in changing it?

Source - male, changed my surname when I moved internationally, married, and wife's family expected her to change her name to mine because we were starting a new family and that would be the family name.

I didn't give a shit because my surname isn't my family name, it's one of my middle names, so it seemed arbitrary, and said so to both her and them.

Wife decided she would change her name and our kid has that name too. It was an absolute pain in the ass to do for her because she's lived here for much longer than me so had more things to change, so I understand not wanting to deal with that. But years down the track - everyone seems happy - reading through these comments tho many of you view this as wrong??

[–] mikezeman@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm in a similar boat of my name not being a big deal to me (also male). However, if a name is arbitrary, why should you change it? If it doesn't matter whether it's your original name or the name of your spouse, why on earth go to the trouble of changing it in the first place? "That's how we've always done it" has never really held much water for me as an argument. If it's of merit, it should stand up to scrutiny without the appeal to tradition.

However, to many people, names aren't arbitrary. From a historical point of view, marriage used to be considered a transaction of property, and a woman's last name had the connotation of ownership. Were I a woman, I would find that quite abhorrent, and even though that connotation has diminished I still don't think I could stomach it.

For some specific cases, names hold recognition. I'm a singer and have friends & mentors for whom performing is their full time job. To change your last name after building name recognition can do serious harm to your fame, and thus income. So most of them in that situation will retain their maiden name for job security more than anything.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah it's not the changing, it's the expectation. My mom told me one "women don't have last names", meaning there is no matrilineal naming convention here. So basically she didn't care about changing hers because it was her dad's name or her husband's, but found it problematic. Why does "family name" follow the men like that, when the kids are born to the mothers?

Needlessly Patriarchal is a good way to put it.

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[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I only recently found out he was Brunt as well as Weyoun. And had no idea about the others. (I still haven't gotten around to Enterprise.) What a talented guy!

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

BRUNT, FCA

DS9 casually nailing it with ferengi actors. Even the cousin was great

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

gonna take a while... he looks like he hasn't gotten around to evolve into the homo habilis yet.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

How did he do that thing where I heard "evolve" spoken aloud by him?

I thought twitter was text only?

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love everything he's done, but going back and watching Enterprise was great because he's SO great in that show everytime he shows up.

[–] craigers@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

As someone who slept on enterprise for a long time, 100% agree. Everytime I see antennae I know I'm about to be in for a good time, and I'm just a stupid pink skin.

[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Are there even many other countries besides the US that do this? aAways found it the weirdest thing.

I believe most countries in Central Europe do it. But it’s also possible to take the wife‘s name of course

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don’t mean this as a “gotcha”, but my understanding is that in the vast majority of places where marriage doesn’t change names, the children are still always named after the parent with an outie. I just want to push back against this “western bad” meme.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

They do it in other English-speaking countries for sure.

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago

I know Romania does this

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