I've also been really stressed the past few days. To the point where I have been having nightmares where I'd wake up in a panic - one of them was even about a time I was in middle school and went to sit down with my friends for lunch and they all got up and walked away after I sat down - classic... lots of causes for this anxiety that I won't list here, but I have to do some big changes at work soon and it's been eating me how to accomplish that is a big one.

Last night I didn't sleep very well (just like the nights before), and when I woke up again today and felt my stomach just hurting again (this is probably eating food too heavy last night) I knew I had to call in sick. So I did, decided to watch someone play both Zelda CDi games (lol, you have to bomb the boulders ten times, fucking classic, gets 'em every time, tbh I think I like Wand of Gamelon better it feels more like a world than Faces of Evil).

But Partner suggested I try this CBD gummy thing since he takes them to help him sleep when he starts to get insomnic phases. 25mg. Usually it doesn't do anything for me at all, so I just kinda wrote it off. Plus, it's not psychoactive anyway (CBD isn't supposed to be), but I was desperate and I trust him.

At some point after taking it, my tummy stopped hurting (I'm relatively sure this was made way worse by anxiety), and I started to relax a bit?? Then I finally was really tired. Eventually I slept and had three dreams that would normally hugely provoke anxiety (if you're curious, 1. Having a difficult conversation with my boss, 2. wasps being anywhere near me, 3. being in a crowded public place with people looking at me, also with my mom, this last one was great, I was kinda just proud of who I was??) but was totally zen. I woke up feeling the long-coveted feeling of "no matter what happens in the future, I will be okay." fuck how do I get like this all the time, fuck anxiety tbh lol

Chat, for a good few hours I had no anxiety. I didn't realize how bad it had built up recently, but for a few hours it was completely gone. I had some bad experiences with THC recently, and like I said the CBD shit never really does anything for me usually as far as I knew, but today I am glad for the funny plant.

Or maybe it was watching the vids, idk, lol. End post

You know I'm not ashamed of the way I dress, Corrin. And I feel I should show that confidence and pride in public. The only way the world will grow more tolerant is to see people like me. ...See us living, loving, and being both our unique selves and quite ordinary. When we're not invisible, we can become part of the pattern—woven into the fabric.

-- Forrest in a support conversation with Corrin (the avatar character)

This is the same game that doesn't allow for homosexual marriage unless it's a Corrinsexual, has gender-locked classes (including for this character, he has to wear masc clothes for certain classes), and has ZERO characters outside of the gender binary. The only gender-diverse representation in this game (Fire Emblem: Fates) is the character speaking the quote above, Forrest, a boy who's non-conforming in his gender presentation. What's cool about Forrest, though, is that he breaks the gender-lock on one of the specific classes that used to be locked to women (Troubadour, essentially a cleric on a horse). As I said above though, fuck him if he wants to be the butler/maid class, he has to experience dysphoria as a butler.

Doing some research on trans characters in Fire Emblem, and somehow one of the best examples comes from the disaster for the human race that was Fire Emblem: Fates. I can only think of one other decent example in the official series, Intelligent Systems needs to step up their game.