this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 173 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is why people like this are told to go outside or touch grass.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 155 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Frankly all of 4chan should.

But then our supply chain of clinically insane greentexts would fail.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 60 points 1 month ago (11 children)

I heard a story about a whole world that was perfect because they locked a kid up in a room and threw all the bad stuff in there with the kid. The poor kid suffered all of the world's miseries so that others could enjoy life. That kid's name? 4chan.

4chan is 99% deplorable garbage. I won't even go into /b/. Helllll no. But oddly enough, some of the internet's best memes come out of there.

[–] originalfrozenbanana@lemm.ee 17 points 1 month ago

Assuming only a place of pure misery could produce those memes

[–] kernelle@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (8 children)

4chan is what the internet would look like if everything had the bare minimum of moderation. Actually a very interesting case study about the human psyche, and I've had many a interesting conversation on there, especially early internet days.

Is it a shithole? Overall, yes. But the right board at the right time is truly early internet ethos.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Through this sieve would come the ascended madmen. Those who escaped the cave and rejected the reality without, retreating to their chamber of hate and stagnation. The truly unhinged. No more naive, parroted bastardizations of the Socratic method. Only irreparables.

This select choir of lunatics voluntarily ablating their sanity will be decadence enough, I think

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[–] where_am_i@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

most of them were social outcasts long before 4chan. That's actually how they got there in the first place.

Everyone will be having pleasant conversations outside, but these guys won't.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 78 points 1 month ago

Imagine being so obsessed by black dick as 4Chan.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

interact with people

Instructions unclear, helicoptered my dick around but there appeared to be no ceiling fan.

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Anon learns that outdoors is fake and gay.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Wtf is a Gonial Angle or a Canthal tilt?

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 81 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Gonial angle is this:

Gonial angle picture

Canthal tilt is that:

Canthal tilt illustration

As I was googling I've seen articles mentioning some angles statistically more attractive than others, that's predictable, but then incels take it as another reason why they are genetically predisposed to stay virgins and have no power to change that.

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 77 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The ifunny watermark really tips this over the edge, comedically.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It could only be beaten by a SomethingAwful watermark (do they have one?) on a picture of non-attractive angles.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Ah, am woman, can confirm I only date mane with a Gonial Angle over 140 degrees, or under 30

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

how do you bring out the protractor on dates?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago

Oh, us females inherently judge the angle flawlessly on first sight.

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I've no doubt that at least half the articles about those phrases will lead you down a path of right wing fuckbaggery.

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[–] gigachad@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

As a gigachad I can confirm.

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm going to guess at "Incel excuses for not getting laid."

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anything but the harsh reality that they could get laid if they behaved better and presented themselves better

[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You need to touch less grass and spend more time online.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 40 points 1 month ago

Interacting face-to-face with non-degenerates results in normal chat. Whoda thunk?

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think their cope is that "people aren't mentioning that but they think it" etc

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[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Lemmy in a nutshell too tbh.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 1 month ago

I don't know what boards you're on, but wow. Not the experience I'm having on Lemmy. You might wanna check your subscribes.

[–] Voltage@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

go outside

interact with people

nobody is talking about linux

nobody is talking about the bad thing that amazon did today

nobody is talking about self hosting or privacy

everyone just having normal and relatively pleasant conversation and going on with their day

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[–] everett@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 month ago

I like how ambiguously

This place

can either mean "4chan" or "outside."

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure political extremism works the same way.

[–] loutr@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I have friends from high school who fell into the alt-right rabbit hole. They are obsessed with transgenderism. If you believe their depressing timelines, trans people are absolutely everywhere, behaving like total degenerates and grooming kids left and right. They send me an unhealthy amount of videos to prove their claims.

Meanwhile in the real world, I've encountered maybe 5 trans people that I recognized as such, and they were behaving normally, and not one tried to groom my kids! But if I tell them that they dismiss it on account of my woke mind virus / Trump derangement syndrome. They're single, don't have kids, and spend most of their time doomscrolling or watching the French version of Fox News, but they know better than me what's going on in my kids' school...

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[–] TheFerrango@lemmings.world 23 points 1 month ago

Fake, we occasionally mention OnlyFans even when outside

[–] SeattleRain@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No one maybe talking about lookism but they're practicing it.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Between strangers, yes. For social groups, people tend to stop seeing each others looks as they get to know each other. This is where people's advice to work on your personality is necessary. If you're out just expecting random people to approach you because of your looks, you're going to be waiting around for a long time unless you're blessed with the lucky quality of being born gorgeous.

If you go outside more you also notice that there aren't a lot of gorgeous people in the real world. (No, Tinder, clubs and other places where people LARP don't count as the real world.)

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait, really? Whenever I spend more time at work or at home I tend to forget how many really attractive people are really out there. Whenever I go out after a long period of time I end up being positively surprised. I would also not look at Tinder as an example, but because of the opposite: people on tinder look much uglier than in real life. But then again, usually outside you don't look at people for more than one or two seconds, while on tinder there's loads of photos for you to examine every single flaw

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Exactly.

Honestly, if I was dating today, I probably wouldn't select my SO based on looks, because let's face it, we're both getting older and a bit less attractive. But that literally doesn't matter to me and I find them beautiful, because of the life we've spent together. I was initially attracted to them based on looks, but after some weeks, that really didn't matter any more.

Likewise with friends, I probably initially made my friends based on looks, but I honestly don't care what they look like anymore, they're just my friends.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Because online, people only talk about those things.

In the real world, they are doing them. And so much more. But usually when you're not looking.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 month ago

As if anon would call those conversations normal or pleasant.

[–] tootoughtoremember@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

What, no mention of phrenology? I've lost touch with 4chan, too much grass touching for me.

[–] mindaika@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dude, there’s a whole TV channel for BBC and people talk about it all the time IRL

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[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 month ago

Wait! Step-sister, this is wrong!

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know half the terms used and I'm pretty sure I never want to.

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Terms like "outside", "people", "dating", "pleasent conversations" and "touch with reality"?

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[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (6 children)

what if going outside means walking across a half ass tarmac parking lot and then sitting at a bus stop with homeless people for 30 minutes

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