this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 98 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Celeste - a platformer which gives gender-confused people unrealistic power fantasies (such as the ability to double jump, which they do not naturally possess).

You cannot convince me that this wasn't written by an infiltrator

[–] Outdoor_Catgirl@hexbear.net 60 points 1 month ago

Yeah no way this wasn't a troll

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 59 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"do not naturally possess" implies that trans folks possess the ability to double jump, but through unnatural means.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

is it possible to learn this power?

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 36 points 1 month ago

Not from a cishet. billionaire-tears unlimited-power

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

One of the side effects of HRT

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

The unnatural means are cursed Canadian mountains btw.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 48 points 1 month ago

Check it out, they've never seen a trans person double jump before i-cant

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 42 points 1 month ago

cant double jump

skill issue bridget-pride-stay-mad

[–] Gay_Tomato@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Satan worship is when you are a vampire machine invading hell to literally feast on the blood of demons.

macron trans-gun sentient-ai

[–] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you're one of the nerds who bother to dive into the quasi-ARG metaplot, it does drive home the point that God is the bad guy and that Lucifer literally did nothing wrong in this universe.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 month ago

The only thing I know about this game is that the funny voice man voices the funny angel man

[–] bazingabrain@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

im curious what this website has to say about doom

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I may not be able to double-jump, but I can hover in mid-air for a second

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

At least you can avoid fall damage, I made a mistake speccing into high jump.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Peach style or Yoshi style?

[–] refolde@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

Wow, they're aware of the satirical elements of Fallout, color me surprised.

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I guess parkour and jumping heel clicks are trans now? TIL

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I know people are saying this must be a troll, but seeing as how “in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace (‘fastest Mario’)” was unironically posted by a chud, I’d buy that this is earnest.

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind.

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this a bit? It’s too funny to be conservative drivel and too media literate on top. amogus

[–] axont@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Conservapedia regularly has stuff I can only assume are jokes. Like there's a review of American Psycho on there that says something like "despite the patriotic title, this movie is very liberal"

[–] nicklewound@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Goddamn, being a cis dude is so fucking boring.

I want a double jump so goddamn bad.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Is it trans to main scout in TF2?

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

By this chud logic, does this mean Arthur from Super Ghouls and Ghosts is trans? wowee

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The trans-fantasy of dying many, many times to various ghosts and goblins

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well he runs around in his underwear when hit and it's got hearts on it, and we all know trans folk love hearts cat-trans

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah we do

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The news has reached Maddy :)

[–] bazingabrain@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

(such as the ability to double jump, which they do not naturally possess).

YOU FUCKERS LIED TO ME.

[–] TC_209@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm cis. I love Fallout. I do not forsee regretting this post in, say, one or two years.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

You might learn to double jump, so there's that.

[–] an_actual_pigeon@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I mean, I know Fallout's social commentary and heavy-handed attempts at poignancy is pretty on the nose in terms of the desolate mid-century american wasteland practically screaming at you "THIS IDEOLOGY AND LIFESTYLE LEADS TO DEATH AND ANNIHILATION", but I'd say that Fallout is as much as celebration of 50s/60s americana as it is a critique of it. Like, yes, it's literally post-apocalyptic, but its making constant adoring allusions to sci-fi drive-in B movies, midcentury pop culture, and pulp fiction. There's a real unironic love and appreciation for that era of America on display in Fallout, much to my chagrin, even as someone who can deeply share that cultural reverence. Sometimes I feel like it goes down the "wow wasn't the 60s cool and wacky?!" route a little bit too much at times, especially these days. Its like, yeah, but if you're not further deconstructing it in some way or using it to make an interesting point, it feels a little hollow. Fallout is at its best (in my view) when it's able to perform as a simultaneous celebration and deconstruction of Americana. I think it disarms people who might not be willing to accept a critique of America otherwise.

[–] Fontasia@feddit.nl 9 points 1 month ago

Geez I'm CIS and in my 30s and only now do I learn that I can double jump? How do I do it?

[–] Seasonal_Peace@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Why is nobody here showing sick pakour with double jumps

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

Conservatives be like: "they lied to us! We didn't know that transitioning could be as cool as getting a leg upgrade in Mega Man X!"

[–] anothertranscomrade@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

I just started playing New Vegas tonight lol