this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
510 points (92.2% liked)

Greentext

4623 readers
918 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
510
Anon loves his dad (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Chill_Dan@lemmy.world to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 146 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I can't be the only one who saw that coming the moment they read the line "found a sugar daddy," right?

I can’t be the only one who saw that coming

I'm surprised you can visualize it so well. I didn't see them coming, though the title did give insight into the plot twist.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

🇮​​​​​ 🇸​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇪​​​​​N 🇾​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇺​​​​​ 🇨​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇲​​​​​🇮​​​​​🇳​​​​​🇬​​​​​ 🇫​​​​​🇷​​​​​🇴​​​​​🇲​​​​​ 🇦​​​​​ 🇲​​​​​🇮​​​​​🇱​​​​​🇪​​​​​ 🇦​​​​​🇼​​​​​🇦​​​​​🇾​​​​​, 🇸​​​​​🇹​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇻​​​​​🇪​​​​​🇳​​​​​

[–] swag_money@lemmy.world 131 points 2 months ago (1 children)

probably: fake
definitely: gay

[–] crowbar@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dragonborn3810@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] M137@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 116 points 2 months ago (11 children)

On the plus side, there's very little chance of birth defects!

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 59 points 2 months ago

but a little chance of butt defects

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] morphballganon@lemmynsfw.com 114 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Gotta include a line about changing your name to reflect your new gay identity or else the Dad would have known it was him

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Son, I didn't get a chance to play ball with you when you were growing up. Let's make up for lost time.

That's enough internet for one day.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 points 2 months ago

Making up for lost time by pitching and catching, or by playing with 4 balls at once?

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 12 points 2 months ago
[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago

or they just spent 2 years together without saying eachothers names, like normal people do

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 66 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's like that movie Oldboy, but gay and less violent. Gayboy.

[–] Chill_Dan@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And the hammering is in the bed.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

With more tongue.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

And more fake.

[–] OmegaLemmy 56 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm at a fucking ~~:.|:;~~ for words

[–] Vivendi@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Like this ~~:.|:;~~

Edit to be more informative

It's :.|:; with a 'strikethrough' through the whole thing.

So — Colon, Period, Vertical Bar, Colon, Semi-Colon and then a 'strikethrough' (idk if it depends on your lemmy app, but mine uses 2 tildes (~) on each side of whatever you're striking through ~~like so~~)

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 months ago

Words like last names?

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 54 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

but they spent 2 years together without knowing eachother's names

[–] match@pawb.social 5 points 2 months ago

they probably knew each other's fursona names

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Fake: Anon got a free house, obviously every millennials dream

Gay: Anon fucked their dad

[–] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 54 points 2 months ago

This is the poor man's Oedipus Rex.

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 53 points 2 months ago

not sure if fake, but definetly gay

[–] match@pawb.social 52 points 2 months ago

that's so sad i wish they had more time together

[–] Bumblefumble@lemm.ee 47 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 40 points 2 months ago

No, its gay. Oedicoc

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bobthened@feddit.uk 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anon doesn't realise that towns can have more than one divorced deadbeat gay dad in them.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

In this case maybe there was only one

[–] bobthened@feddit.uk 2 points 2 months ago

I doubt it.

[–] TheFerrango@lemmings.world 22 points 2 months ago

The secret is his mom also cheated so he wasn’t really his dad. That’s why they never recognised each other

[–] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 12 points 2 months ago

8yo is super young for his dad to realise he’s gay, so all power to him.

load more comments
view more: next ›