this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 90 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Why did you join the Army?"

"Government didn't like it when I killed people back home so I let them fly me out here and now I get little prizes for it."

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you’ll excuse me, they’re putting me in something called Hero Squad.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dr Fishman said that you're going to be all right.

[–] seahorse@midwest.social 3 points 1 month ago

I'm surprised you're all taking this news so well.

[–] yolo@r.nf 5 points 1 month ago

"Ah. nice! Thank you for your service."

[–] FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

"have you ever done any drugs?" "oh yes, tons. Everything under the sun" "nothing? Not even Marijuana? Sober as a judge you are!"

[–] faltryka@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago

Top talent meets top talent.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Warning signs are a plus. They probably get a bonus for psychopaths

[–] Vernon_Tennessee@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

"Ignoring warning signs for potential recruits is our specialty."

[–] Z_Poster365@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

huh that was weird. Well, anyway...

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 13 points 1 month ago

He's like "I'ma make this dude into a janitor so fast"

[–] match@pawb.social 10 points 1 month ago

why is Super Saiyan Goku Highspeed recruiting for the US

[–] zorro@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Sorry I had my license revoked after the last incident. You'll have to send a car.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

I told them I wasn't desperate enough to lick boots for money. Never heard from them again.