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You Americans have this? Good Lord
We are basically a cyberpunk dystopia without all the pizzazz at this point.
Wheres my damn cyberware? Oh neuralink? Fuck no 
Tbf, there is a small gorup of DIY bio-hackers somewhere out there. I saw a doc about it a few years ago. Nothing like super major but like installing an NFC chip in a hand and stuff.
My favorite was a little magnet in your ring fingertip that let you "feel" magnetic fields.
I wouldn't do it, but it sounded kinda nifty.
That would be hell if you were a secretary or whatever and used paperclips a lot.
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That’s so accurate, but landlords have jacked up rent so cities are little luxury zones for the rich only so only they can enjoy the few cool things about cyberpunk while I’m stuck living like a medieval peasant in bumfuck nowhere Ohio.
First I don't wish Ohio on anyone, even my worst enemies.
That still tracks. Us poors can't even afford the disassociation treats that the movies and books suggested that the cyber-poors would be enjoying. I just wanna be the homeless guy with the beanis-pump gooning himself with VR in the first episode of Edgerunners. Is that too much to ask?
The pumps have little screens on the that play adds and yell at you. They used to just use speakers to play the adds to the whole complex, but now they're right in your face. There's lots of surveillance, too, since they want to be able to prosecute you if you somehow manage to get gas without paying. It makes sabotaging the screens complicated.
That truly sounds annoying. So what next? Ads on the screen of your cars while stuck in traffic?
If you count the billboards on the side of the road, then yes.
Thats not bazinga brained or invasive enough
I got it billboards that have an RFID and zap ads to your cars display and crank the volume. Also a future version that ques to play on your retina when you're done driving for people with a neural ink chip installed. That or que ads in your dreams
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I'm sure someone has a patent for it. Drink verification can to put car in gear.
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Also from what I've seen online some of the gas pumps have switched from conventional speakers to DML panel speakers so you can't destroy the speaker cones.
We need a commercial point of sale sabotage manual. Like we need to comb through the repair manuals for all these things, all these advertising machines, and determine how they can be disabled quickly, quietly, and with minimal evidence by the "end user".
That's one of the reasons some advertising and ATMs have switched to panel speakers, there's no requirement for vent holes for the sound to escape, so it's pretty much impossible to vandalise. A physical part of the gas pump or ATM becomes the speaker, by being energised by an audio exciter stcuk to the back side of it. If you see something producing sound with no obvious speaker holes, it's probably using a DML exciter. It's actually a very interesting technology, a shame it's being used in advertising.
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yeah, I genuinely thought about trying to figure out where the essential components of those were so I could pop a little hole in them with a drill but I decided to stop driving for like a year instead
If you put your ear next to the panel you can probably find the location of the exciter on the panel, as the noise will get louder closer to the exciter, and then drill though the panel and exciter.
the only unfortunate thing is that essentially all gas stations have cameras
but honestly they aren't monitored well at night so maybe you can get away with it if you're casual enough. or black out your plates. Hardly seems worth the risk but those things make me homicidal so
Putting a strong magnet next to the location of the exciter will screw it up without any physical damage from the outside.
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There is nowhere you can go in this country without somebody trying to sell you something
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The people who take a sharpie and draw an arrow to the mute button are unsung saints.
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You know what goes great with volatile flammable vapors? Distractions!
I hope whoever invented that shit stomps on a rake and the rake somehow goes up their ass.
One of my favoirte "you've got to be fucking kidding me" contradictions in modern life is a 50 foot by 10 foot billboard next to the high way screaming "don't look at your phone pay attention to the road!" On a road lined with brightly colored bullboards. Hell, some are giant animated screens now.
Don’t look at your phone, peasant, it distracts you from consuming our treats
Exactly, these aren't just annoying, they're dangerous for people with hearing impairments who already have trouble processing the sounds of the world around them.
I just press every button, starting on the right. Mute is usually the 2nd or 3rd from the top.
Everything about cars is treated with this insane level of ease and casualness that nothing else with their level of danger gets, I guess simply because they’re for common civilian use?
Forklift drivers are held to a much higher standard than car drivers, despite forklifts being much less dangerous
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Drink verification can
I fucking hate advertisements with all my soul
The person who invented ~~video~~ advertisements ~~with audio on gas pumps~~ needs to be flayed alive
Learned you usually mute the fuckers. It isn’t marked, but if you hit the buttons on the console, usually the top left or right mute the ad.
Most ones out my way are right hand buttons, third one down in most cases.
Death to all advertisers, death to america. Glad we can at least shut these fuckers up for the meanwhile though.
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Oh a cutomer let me DIAL THE VOLUME TO 11. NO YOU CAN'T TURN ME OF HEHE! KEEP PUMPING YOUR SLOP!
Actively spitting on my face with that even while the money I'm planning to pay them counter ticks up. Can't you settle for the $70 cash I'm about to hand you??
Wait, you guys don't follow Maria Menudos' podcast?
I genuinely have no idea who Maria Menudos is aside from “That super annoying lady that won’t shut up at the gas pump and before movies start”
Literally who the fuck is this woman and why do people keep giving her jobs where she speaks on camera
who the fuck is this woman
That super annoying lady that won’t shut up at the gas pump and before movies start
it's a narrow niche but it is all hers
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those showed up around me a few years ago but now they seem to have mostly stopped, seems like pissing off 100% of their customers every single time they show up may have had unintended consequences over time
Yeah, the one by me started doing them around 2019 or so and stopped about a year back. They were loud as fuck too and I'd hear them echoing off the buildings across the street.
They still do ads but it's silent slideshows of food and products that are on sale in the gas station store. Still shitty but kind of an improvement I guess?
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flensing knives for everyone
I avoid those gas stations like the plague. I've never seen a better advertisement for electric cars in my life.
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One gas station near me has had the exact same ones for over a year too
I don't want any TV blaring while I'm smoking cigarettes filling up the ol tank
Expanding foam.
Or if its winter, fill it up with snow
Unlimited annoyances upon drivers
I didn't think they would do a worse version of in taxi ride ads
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this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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