Tbh as a cis woman I'm really happy about the mandatory pronouns too. Tons of people online stick to the generic "he" when talking about a user. It was always annoying when people on the old sub said something like "He has a point" or whatever. Each time I'd struggle between not wanting to make a big deal out of it by correcting them, but also wanting to push back against the idea that it's only brocialists on r/CTH. Plus it's cool to scroll down and see she/her and realise you're not the only woman commenting, particularly when there's something about sexism or feminism. It's made me less hesitant to push back against some stuff.
this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2020
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There's studies that show that using people's chosen names/pronouns decreases depression and suicidal thoughts in trans people, that's enough for me to do it.
it's actually done a lot to affect how people relate to each other here. there's a lot less masculinity being flung around here than on the old sub. it's still not great but it's better than it used to be.
it's good for all of us, not purely for us transes.
Also makes me realise that there really are a lot of women posters. I do genuinely just assume that the poster is dude most of them time unless they mention something very specifically feminine.
Kinda bad but years of doing it on the internet has burned it into my brain. So yeah, just seeing a pronoun breakdown is interesting enough.
yea, I had the same realization after the pronoun tags were first turned on. I'd always thought this was a more dude heavy space, just given how people behave and interact.
It is still pretty dude heavy though lol
Though looking at the gender breakdowns on some of the larger Reddit subs do reinforce why it's so normal to just assume it's a dude talking to you.
It's literally almost all cis white males who's favourite film is Empire Strikes Back.
yes, yes it is. but 70-30 is very dude heavy but not quite enough to assume everyone you're talking to is a dude. the assumption has the consequence that women, femmes, and enbies, don't feel comfortable speaking up unless they're comfortable with people assuming they're men. even a lot of cis women aren't comfortable with that. remember when reddit used to whine that women would disclose their gender in posts "for attention"?
And then that reinforces it further. Non-dudes leave because they're sick of the environment and then it becomes more and more dude heavy.
Because taking someone else feelings on their personal autonomy into account for a fraction of a second is a violation of my rights goddammit!
Trans rights are human rights, love you all.
Neil Gaiman wrote this years ago, and it's something I try to remember when these conversations come up:
"I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”
Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile.
You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.
I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”
Literally costs you nothing to treat someone with respect by using their chosen pronouns.
Yeah, in a similar vein, I usually refer to it as being "impolite" a lot of the time when I'm talking about these topics with people who aren't exactly in the know about these things. It's both true and I don't think it carries as much of a moralizing/scolding tone when I really want someone to shut the fuck up without getting into a whole lecture about it.