this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
-54 points (11.4% liked)

Casual Conversation

1658 readers
261 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.


RULES

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

And before some smartass goes like: "are you living in the 90s? Girls play videogames dude, I'm a girl gamer! I even play Fortnite and CoD with my roommates."

Videogames in terms of the crowds that attracts is male dominated, especially as adults. Some girls replying that they play doesn't change that fact. I've never met a single girl into games... except one. My English teacher, she was younger than me, I think barely an adult (night school for adults). But I quit that place without finishing the studies and never connected with teachers, plus we're from different countries, there's no common ground, aside that I've never an adult woman into them. Do they think they're silly and childish?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] morphballganon@lemmynsfw.com 35 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Some women who play games don't broadcast their gender, to avoid harassment.

There are some games that are played by more women than men, like Animal Crossing.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

That's me. I played a game with a group for almost two years before I let them know my gender. I still regret telling them some days.

[–] Servais@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 months ago

Sorry to hear

[–] ZoeyBear@beehaw.org 12 points 3 months ago

I’m a woman hugely into mmos I never say anything unless I’ve decided I trust the group enough to talk.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"I've never met a girl who plays games"

That's it folks, we have all the evidence we need

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 3 months ago

Lol i watched mom and aunt played on the Sega and Nintendo when I was a kid.

[–] Lemvi@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] jet@hackertalks.com 17 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I think you just need to spend more time around women.

They play games, alot! Not even just eGirls, or gamer girls.

Maybe they play different games then you, i.e. candy crush has made over $1 Billion dollars and is played by 65% female gamers.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Dreadfighter23@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There's lots of women that play games that choose to not reveal their gender because there are lots of creeps. A lot of them get propositioned or get harassed. Not to mention in real life some guys act condescending towards them as if they don't know shit about gaming.

[–] MelonYellow@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 months ago

👆🏻Listen to this man. He knows

[–] LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know a lot of women who play video games, I even like some of the games they like. The Sims 4 for example, Animal Crossing, Story of Seasons games; these ladies even like games which men tend to prefer like COD (that I as a man can't stand anything multi-player or competitive). The problem with them revealing their gender online is that oftentimes they are faced with harassment by dudes bros online. It can get pretty gross quickly, so you'll likely never know if the women surrounding you play video games because they'd only share that information if, as a person, you were one to be considered safe.

[–] Servais@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 3 months ago
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Lol I knew it was you. I knew it was you literally within a couple hours of you creating this latest account. And I knew you wouldn't be able to help yourself posting some incel shit eventually. You literally can't help yourself. Go touch some grass and stop using the computer.

[–] Servais@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What was their previous account?

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

@fookreddit69@lemm.ee @kimdracula@lemm.ee @SORROW@lemmy.world @FVCKVRSELF@sh.itjust.works @D1G1T4l_B4TH@lemmy.world @Kimdracula@sh.itjust.works @0001@discuss.tchncs.de @BEWARE@sopuli.xyz @Fuckers@feddit.uk @Hatred@endlesstalk.org @Nobody@feddit.org @mascara@lemmynsfw.com

Edit: I'm willing to bet money his new one is Empty at leminal.space. I've seen this guy say before he doesn't even understand what the problem is with ban evasion. In his amoral little mind, it's just the natural thing to do when you get banned to immediately make a new account somewhere else and continue the exact same behaviour.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They have been banned, I'll add a mod comment to see if people want to remove the post or not

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Cheers. Keep an eye on that new account I mentioned at the end there. I realize there's not a lot of evidence yet but I've gotten pretty good at spotting him.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

FYI you should glance at the account I called out here's profile (empty at leminal dot space). It's definitely the same incel, and he's posting his same incel crap on this muni. I called it when the account had literally one comment and one post. Told ya I'm getting good at spotting him 😅

But there is seemingly someone... Sympathetic to his incel BS in the mod team because reporting him doesn't seem to do much.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

Thank you for the report.

It is kind of a tricky move, because their previous account got banned at the instance level, not the community level.

I banned the new account for 3 days at the community level for the ban evasion, but thinking about it, at the community level, they didn't break any rules.

Sure, the constant whining could be considered trolling, but I guess that's an edge case.

Let's see how it goes in a few days, as they'll probably come back with this account or another.

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Women make up a significant proportion of video game consumers. It is just more socially acceptable for men, thus its more openly broadcasted. They also tend to play different games. Men tend to have a higher draw to violent games when compared to women, so you may not see women represented as much if that's the kind of game you're basing this off.

Also, nobody here is going to be able to tell you what all women think of videogames or even a general consensus.

Myself and a bunch of other women are incredibly proficient raiders in an MMO we all enjoy. I end up playing with random women in my parties all the time.

Also like, spaces that are hostile to women (ie, groups of guys who go "why are there no gaymer grills I want a goth gamer gf") are gonna drive women away, so if you are in circles with people who behave that way, you'll probably encounter fewer women.

[–] Mascara@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't frequent any type of online circles. I'm just talking about my experience.

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 2 points 3 months ago

I mean okay sure but did you read the rest of my comment

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

And before you type something smart like: “are you living in the 90s?

Are you living in the 90s

It's like asking why only men like fantasy and sci-fi

That's not the case. It's just that women in the space often receive unwelcome attention of one kind or another when participating in the fandoms. It's been the same case with gaming for years.

Every female friend I've had has been a gamer. It's the norm anymore.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago (4 children)

OP has been banned, should we delete or keep the thread?

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago

Keep it, some answers were interesting

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

keep it, the conversation was productive, if one sided, and people spent effort writing their messages.

Part of the draw of lemmy is the rich message archive we are building

Honestly, I don't think any thread should ever get removed once it hits a specific threshold of participation. There is nothing worse then spending time crafting messages to have then just poof disappear and gone when someone gets banned, or decides they are not winning the conversation and self-delete the post. Locked is better, because peoples contributions and arguments can be referenced or linked to later.

Remember the hyper paranoid moderator we had for awhile? My biggest issue with them wasn't their level of crazy, that was actually great - it gave us so much to talk about, really amped up participation... My biggest issue was that they would DELETE their threads, zapping all of those discussions and participations.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Remember the hyper paranoid moderator we had for awhile? My biggest issue with them wasn’t their level of crazy, that was actually great - it gave us so much to talk about, really amped up participation… My biggest issue was that they would DELETE their threads, zapping all of those discussions and participations.

Damn, that's a memory I didn't want to remember. What a time.

[–] avguser@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Off topic: OP keeps getting banned for the same trolling and incel behaviors, recreates a new account to avoid the ban, rinse lather repeat.

Not saying being a moderator or admin gives all the tools or omniscience, to detect this, but is there something available to ban by IP or flag by keywords? They always post the same things over and over.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's a problem inherent of the fediverse. You can't IP ban someone because they can join a different instance.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's indeed it. On the other hand, the community is still small, and such behaviours stands out quite fast, so we can identify their alts.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

There are ways to address this, with various tradeoffs in terms of privacy or engineering

  • instances using oauth to a larger service that handles identity.
  • Require a monetary donation to create a new account (like how metafilter collects $5 to make an account)
  • Have new users be vouched for by existing users (the club membership model)
  • New contributors to a community are quarantined until a moderator approves their messages, and after some level of productive participation they get upgraded to not requiring approval. Then if they go off the rails, they at least had to contribute first
  • etc,etc,etc,
[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

Yes, definitely, but as of now, we don't have much.

[–] Blaze@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

Please delete it

[–] Kojichan@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Hate to do what you said you didn't want to hear, but it's the truth.

There are lots of girls or women who love gaming. Not just girly casual games, either. We just don't make it publicly known. You may have known a few more girl gamers, but they wouldn't ever dare tell you or be open about it.

A girl gamer, even back then, is someone who is ridiculed, made fun of, picked on and bullied to no end. You learn to stop making your hobbies public, especially if you don't want to be destroyed psychologically. That means lying about your hobbies.

It is more openly accepted for guys to play games, but not for girls. We're supposed to be playing with dolls, playing house, and learning how to raise children, not goofing off. Not to mention, personal tastes and interests and how they were brought up.

It's like asking how many boys play with dolls, or make believe with girly interests.

Your fact may stand from your perspective, and you may have known a lot of non gamers as that's how they grew up, but keep in mind that the potential for being bullied or accused of using your gender to garner attention really forces us to remain behind closed doors for protection.

Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

It's just unfortunate that you seem to only be noticing the superficial layer to this.

Admittedly, it is getting better, but it's still not a world where one can be so public about "masculine-centric" hobbies, not just gaming.

Expand your circle of friends and you may find more. :)

Asking here is a good way to see how many other females there really are. We're more comfortable talking here, behind some layer of anonymity.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Man, I remember back in the 90's when the world's best competitive Quake player was a woman.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 6 points 3 months ago

There's an age gap to female gamers. Videogames were marketed to boys and not girls in the 80's and the gender disparity stuck for a long time. It's much more even for under-twenties.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago

It's really just because a majority of games emphasize the action. But if you were able to know me, I'd be the second such woman after your English teacher. I even have done streaming. Loyal followers get a Pokémon nicknamed after them and get to see if it prevails.

[–] fracture@beehaw.org 5 points 3 months ago

i think it would be really helpful for you to include which country you're from. in the US, i would think it's pretty comparable, but in other countries, there are probably different cultural factors at play that make it difficult to speak to without taking them into account

from the way you write and your dismissal of e.g. candy crush as "not a real game", i think those cultural factors are probably what's preventing either 1) women from feeling like they're allowed to participate or 2) women from revealing, around you, that they play games

fwiw, i wouldn't assume that women as a whole assume games are silly or childish. some women probably think that, for sure, just like some men do. but their viewpoints are as varied as women themselves are. it's very possible that they simply view them as a masculine hobby that isn't "for women", or just haven't been exposed to any they'd be interested in, or, similarly to you, wouldn't consider being interested in mobile games to be "real gaming"

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 3 points 3 months ago

Anecdotally, the women I know all play "casual" games, and don't consider themselves "gamers" because they don't consider these casual games (generally phone/app based) real games, even though they play daily.

load more comments
view more: next ›