There are ways to make any of these work really really well, aside from a hot dog with only ketchup. I'll ketchup a dog but mustard NEEDS to be there, I hate the taste of solo ketchup. Ranch, like just about anything else can be made good and also it's about the pizza. Trash pizza (chain takeout or frozen) demands some other bullshit with it and it should be equally crappy. Before being vegan I would for sure smash a really shitty 4 cheese frozen pizza and add ranch and Sriracha. Shitty food can be delicious and has its place. I'm an amazing cook, been doing it for 14 years as a job and have mostly done higher end stuff, I can whip up amazing stuff from scratch pretty quick...but sometimes that isn't what you're I'm the mood for, and I'm not even talking laziness. Sometimes the hankering is for the shittiest version of a food. That's fine, eat bad good from time to time, it's fun.