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What makes you stand out? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by greywolf0x1@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hi everyone, i would like to know what makes you stand out from your immediate environment. It could be something physical or a feature that qualifies you.

I'll go first, i have quite large feet from years of moving around barefooted and while growing up, i had to have shoes custom made as most of the good ones were made in general sizes only, i still have trouble getting shoes.

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[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I dislike being observed. If someone comments on me in any capacity (clothes, looks, humor, etc.) Whether positive or negative I get uncomfortable.

That being said, currently a bright orange top.

Otherwise I'm a very average looking person who wears mostly black, dark blues, and some greys.

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Jung's theory around The Gaze, and how by ourselves we are our own subjects, capable of authoring our own paths, but as soon as another being is introduced and we're subject to their gaze, their own aspect of being a subject necessarily forces some objectification upon us (and us on them). It's interesting theory, and a good examination of why some people feel so incredibly uncomfortable with others around.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I may have to look into that to some. I've never been good around people, but specifically when they say something it's much worse.

Sort of in a similar vein, I don't like mirrors because it makes me see myself which presents an image that does not match the way I feel I present myself or my internal image of myself. it's less a matter of attraction or confidence so much as a disillusionment.

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I just learned about this, and think I have it too, to an extent. I've grown more comfortable as I move age and transform closer to the hag witch I was born to be.

It's called a fear of being perceived, or scopophobia. Apparently it's common with neurodivergence (though I personally wouldn't consider myself neurodivergent- at least not enough to seek a diagnosis).

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I have never heard of that, I'll definitely look into it! I was given an ND prognosis many years ago though I did not stay with the practioner long enough after to get a full diagnosis. So it's possible that plays into it.

I've gotten more accustomed as I age, definitely, comfortable maybe not so much. I am unsure if changing my appearance to closer match would change my affinity towards it, but I suppose that may be answered by looking more into the condition itself. But thank you for a name to start with

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I used to feel the same way with mirrors and actually wanted to write into my will that all photos of me must be destroyed upon my death. The idea of being permanently recorded terrified me.

I think therapy really helped, since if anything my appearance has strayed further from my mental image. That's not to say it's the same for you. It's a relief to me that I'm not the only one who has felt this way, and I hope that you find some relief from the feeling itself too.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mostly just avoid mirrors and pictures as a whole and dress really tame so its not super bad. I could definitely use therapy for a multitude of reasons but I struggle to communicate things without prompt and am quite uncomfortable with the idea of sharing very personal stuff with, well, anyone. I do go through phases of erasing myself (as much as one can) from the internet, and from my own devices though.

I am glad to hear I'm not the only one, though it's unfortunate others do suffer the same way. I do hope you continue to make progress and have it become a non-issue for you in the future

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 months ago

Same to you, friend.