this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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To you, what about others or themselves?
I generally agree with you, but looks are a somewhat personal topic, hence my question.
I do not think that clothing is in any way stable across time or cultures (taking out of my ass, just looking back and into other cultures).
Same with beards etc. they change over time. What man specially need is to display status, it is irrelevant how that happens and has changed over time/location all over the place. It fundamentally attracts females.
"Fundamentally attracts females" sounds like you get your advice from other men on the internet, and not the two women who are both attracted to men that you're currently talking to.
Example; my fiance has a gigantic beard. But! He trims the underside so it doesn't grow out of his friggin throat, and he trims it down so it doesnt grow way up on his cheeks like a werewolf. He gets his hair cut regularly, and aside from that he just keeps all of it clean and free of tangles.
On other men, this squarish beard would look terrible. But on him, it's fantastic. He has a longer face, so this is what works for him. And it was advice I gave him (back when we were just friends).
A dear friend of mine is an autistic gentleman who was having trouble dating online. I asked him some questions, figured out what he can and can't do for his comfort, and then from there I helped him alter his clothing choices. Nothing expensive, just explained how to change his color choices to work with his skin and eyes! I advised him on how to care for his (very long, he has a sensory thing) hair, and then introduced him to fragrance. He dated two girls until he met his current girlfriend and they've been together a year and a half!
Don't get your advice from men who aren't even attracted to men. When you want to know what's attractive, find and ask the people who are capable of being attracted to you. Anyone else is just wasting your time. And the bottom line has nothing to do with expense or resources or wealth. The style that suits you could be as cheap as t-shirts and jeans you already own, as long as it's the stuff that works with your appearance, not against.
Thank you for what you do/have done for them. I have been in that spot when I was younger.
I think I see where/how we "disagree". I talk generally about how attraction works, you specifically about individual persons and what specifics work for them. And I agree with what you say. I just want to add that fundamentally it is not about looks. Having an expensive looking sports car means you can ask random girls and many will just hop in. Do not forget that the average person is stupid and half the population is below average. Of course, looking good is the best way to get somewhere. Wearing a Rolex? Many girls like it, because it means $$$. Are you such a shallow person? I highly doubt it, you are on Lemmy, average persons do not even know about Lemmy. They do not know how to discuss things, many people straight up respond with their feelings. You are far away from average persons. But many are that shallow. Evolution needed them to be that way to be able to form societies. The same way most people blindly follow others, it does not work if everyone wants to lead. Maybe we will rise above this in the future.
The rest of that sentence was, if those men find out what looks good on them. As in, on those individuals, specifically.
This was the first time on Lemmy I had to suppress the knee-jerk urge to insult someone.
Everyone can improve their appearance with education and effort. Everyone.
This kind of recognition helps, to be honest.
Here's to us improving!