this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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Two things, internet stranger. One is some advice, the other is an answer to your question. I hope you take the advice.
Things might be rough now, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are more valuable to your family than the money would be, and the loss of you will be more devastating in the long term than the struggle to get by. I encourage you to discuss these thoughts with a professional if it's within your means, or a trusted loved one if it's not. I'm not sure of the reasons behind your difficulty finding work, but in many parts of the world, including the US, you can qualify for disability payments for mental illness if that is a contributing factor.
It's not entirely true that policies don't pay out in the event of suicide. While there are typically clauses in most policies that will not pay out in the event of a suicide in the first year or two after initiating the policy (mainly to discourage what you are proposing), after that period the cause of death is generally irrelevant.