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Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by lettruthout@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

44 comments fedilink hide all child comments

When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years.

These days though, using this advice only seems to backfire. When I give them what they've given me, the bullies just get more angry and use that to justify their continued bullying. They see themselves as the victim.

Any suggestions that would be more helpful?

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[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wow. All very well said. I'm sorry someone made you this informed on the subject.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you! While I understand the sentiment, I'm happy that I can help others out of it now, too. One of those bittersweet things, I guess.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I try to do the same thing. It makes the suffering not hurt as much. It's hard to see others go through the pain, though, and someone recently reached out to me when they saw it in me, so I'm trying to pass the empathy on. Keep being a force for good, and thank you for helping others!

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I appreciate it very much, and I'm so sorry you were going through that! It wasn't your fault, everything they said were lies, and you were chosen because you are a wonderful person. Keep on keeping on! Don't forget to eat, and even if it 100% seems like it won't, it does get better. Feel free to reach out to me ❤️

Edit: Fun Fact: My username is a reference to me coming back to myself after the abuse 🤪