this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
581 points (92.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26924 readers
801 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Me personally? I've become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women's expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I've matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I've come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of 'humor' really is, and I regret it deeply.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] PixelProf@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I know it's controversial, but moving away from "guys" when I address a group and more or less defaulting to "they" when referring to people I don't know.

They was practical, because I deal with so many students exclusively via email, and the majority of them have foreign names where I'd never be able to place a gender anyways if they didn't state pronouns.

Switching away from guys was natural, but I'm in a very male dominated field and I'd heard from women students in my undergrad that they did feel just a bit excluded in a class setting (not as much social settings) when the professor addresses a room of 120 men and 5 women with "Guys", so it just more or less fell to the side in favour of folks/everyone.

[–] Hypersapien@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I use "guys" even when address a group of women. I feel it's basically become a gender neutral term.

[–] PixelProf@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

I certainly used to, and used to think it was essentially gender neutral, but again - in certain contexts like a male dominated classroom, the women/nb students could easily feel excluded by it. Outside of that, I also recognized my trans friends had a lot of thoughtless people intentionally misgendering them on the regular just to be mean, and finding small ways to reduce that reinforcement felt better than not. It was also surprisingly not that tough for me to adopt the more neutral language, so if it's a subtle help with no skin off my back it just seems very win-win.

[–] Ageroth@reddthat.com 3 points 1 year ago

Despite how country/southern y'all comes across it really is the most inclusive and rolls off the tongue like nothing else

[–] crate_of_mice@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess the point is, how sure are you that all the members of the groups you address using your "gender neutral" term feel equally included?

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago

Maybe it depends on where you live but where I am I would be 100% sure that everyone feels included. If for some reason I wanted to single out the men I would use "boys"

[–] orphiebaby@lemm.ee 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I argue this as well. I think things turning gender-neutral is more progressive than them being cut, unless I'm missing something. I got kicked out of a progressive community (that I really wanted to stay in) partially because they disagreed with me on that opinion (along with the word "dude" as an interjection) and wanted everyone in lock-step. I will never forgive them.

I also think "guys" and "dude" have a level of informality and nuanced humor that doesn't have an easy substitute.

[–] oddityoverseer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm in the process of making this switch. I'm a transplant in the US south and I've always been a bit averse to y'all because it feels too southern, but I think that's the one I'm going with. It's the best fit I've found. And I've noticed it getting more popular elsewhere in the world, and there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

[–] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 7 points 1 year ago

Non-binary folks thank you for this as well. 👍

[–] acasta@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

"Y'all" is an excellent alternative 🤠

[–] DrAnthony@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I feel your pain there. I made the switch during the pandemic thanks to my lectures all being recorded. Hearing myself start every single class with "Okay guys let's get started" was just so cringey that I had to do something.