Explain Like I'm Five

Whatever happens to Particle A will instantly affect Particle B, no matter how far apart they are!

Well ok, maybe for some specific sense of "whatever happens" you could describe it this wa-

If we could create this connection reliably and stably, we could potentially use it send information across distances nearly instantaneously!

Nope! You've gone too far! This is provably impossible, and the proof is even called the no-communication theorem 😄. Don't give our 5-year olds false hope that will take years of study to beat out of them later.