this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
246 points (88.4% liked)

Asklemmy

44174 readers
1655 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I am not a native English speaker and I have sometimes referred to people as male and female (as that is what I have been taught) but I have received some backlash in some cases, especially for the word "female", is there some negative thought in the word which I am unaware of?

I don't know if this is the best place to ask, if it's not appropriate I have no problem to delete it ^^

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] amio@kbin.social 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Male and female are biological terms. Mostly "man/woman" are more appropriate unless you're specifically talking about biological sex. Particularly since a certain bunch of people is now using "females" with a bit of underlying vitriol, it'd be a good idea to stay away from it.

[โ€“] snooggums@midwest.social 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

What is a good term when you don't want to exclude minors who are not yet women, like six year olds?

'Women and girls' seems awkward when talking about sports leagues for people of all ages who are female. "_______ sports are treated as second class by being given the additional description of girl's or women's when the sports played by men and boys is just the name of the sport." is pretty clunky, especially if there are multiple examples that need clarity on which gender's sport is being described.

[โ€“] amio@kbin.social 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'd sneak a peek at some other league and do whatever they did.

When I say "avoid using 'female'" (specifically as a noun to mean "woman") it's not an absolute. The gist is just to not come off like a fedora-tipping twat. Sometimes it's used intentionally to objectify or demean "females" in general, or using the "woman/female" distinction as some sort of pointed transphobic shtick.

It's still a perfectly cromulent word as long as it doesn't get neckbeardy.

[โ€“] snooggums@midwest.social 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

You'd think so, but I have seen the opposite when discussing topics that were true for all ages.

Maybe I just tripped over the most vocal people who don't understand nuance, since one person actually said to use 'woman' to describe a six year old.

[โ€“] otp@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The biggest rule of thumb is to be consistent between the genders.

So if you say "men's and boys' leagues", then say "women's and girls' leagues", not "females' leagues".

The problem is the "Men and females" phenomenon (even when implied), not the word itself.

[โ€“] snooggums@midwest.social 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes, it would be weird to use that combination. I can't think of why anyone would other than overt sexism. That doesn't answer the question of what term would work for across ages for either gender though.

It is also weird to see bathrooms labeled as men and ladies instead of men and women. Another example of inconsistency in how society sees women compared to men.

[โ€“] otp@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

I think the important part is to be consistent. "Female sports leagues don't get the same attention as male sports leagues". Of course, that particular sentence sounds weird, but I'm sure it could be made to work. Personally, I'd use "women's and men's" and hope that it's implied that the same is true to girls' and boys' leagues.

As for bathrooms, now that I think about it, most are only marked with the signs/images. No words. But "men/women" and "ladies/gents" seems common for places that bother putting words.

Of course, the most common bathroom I see is "CUSTOMERS ONLY" (or sometimes COSTUMERS, lol).