Hold on, I’m getting reports that NYC and everyone living there has actually been cloned to keep up appearances and not startle the libs (communists). Real patriots know the truth. Trust the plan!

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[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago

习近平, General Secretary of the Communist Party of China had this to say:

哈哈哈，get rekt，为人民服务

He was then seen washing his hands with a bottle of 农夫山泉 brand bottled water while squatting in a back alley of Beijing wearing a white singlet after a succulent Chinese meal consisting of scallion noodles and 冰粉

He proceeded to crack open an 二锅头, taking sips right out the bottle while rubbing his stomach and watching a street side game of mahjong.