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When would you let go? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago by wintermutehal@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Hey all! This may be kind of a dumb post as I know I need to make this decision myself, but I‘d sure love some advice. My oldest dog is 11, going on 12. The poor girl is diabetic, blind, has fatty lipomas, and mobility issues due to diabetes, breed, and age. This morning, we are fairly sure she had a stroke of some sort (the vet agrees with this diagnosis so far, blood work and an X-ray are incoming). She eats but doesn’t really want to get up much, and is generally just resting most of the day. She still has a bit of sparkle in her eyes but she doesn’t really seem to have much energy left. The vet hasn’t mentioned it, but I‘m pretty sure it’s about time to say goodbye. The most important thing to my partner and I is that once she’s suffering, it’s time to let go. She just ate a nice full dinner but still doesn’t want to get up and do much. How long would you give her? Till she’s not eating? The vet hasn’t brought it up yet, so maybe I should be patient, but she’s been such a good friend, I don’t want her to suffer. I’m just at a loss, and this is the first time I‘ve had to do this horrible calculus.

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[–] pezmaker@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I haven't had the experience to see either of my MY dogs grow old to have to make this decision in the same way you are. Both at 8.5yrs and full of piss and vinegar ended up with cancers that were terminal. When I was looking into this for myself and struggling with the decision, I stumbled upon a vet's blog that basically said she never once heard anyone say they did it too soon, and only ever heard regret about having waited too long. A family friend also gave me advice that it's the last act of love and compassion we can give them. I am not judging you and say this with no intended shame at all, with only what you've said to go by, but I think it's time, and maybe a little past time. At the end of the day it's you and your well loved furry friend, not me and mine. It's going to be hard no matter when, so if you can, try to have family with you and planned support for a few days. You'll feel their presence for a very long time. My most recent was in April last year and that nugget is still around me in many ways, and getting blamed for my gas at both ends.

I went on a little unnecessarily. I'm sorry that this decision is upon you, but I'm glad you've been able to have and provide this companionship that has brought you here.

[–] wintermutehal@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Thank you so much, friend. You‘ve really got a good point, I‘d rather just save her the pain than delay for myself. I have a feeling I will take this weekend with my sweet girl then go ahead and let her go. She deserves that much. I’m truly sorry you went through this recently yourself. Much love, and thanks for responding.

[–] pezmaker@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

She was a great dog, and thank you. I had someone come into my home and do it so she could be comfortable with her surroundings. She's didn't like the vet office much 😂. My first dog loved anyone and everything and going to the vet was a treat because of the people, so taking her in wasn't a big thing for her. Just wanted to let you know about the in home option in case that seems like a good option for you.

[–] wintermutehal@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I didn’t even know this might be an option! Thank you! I‘m going to look right now into if we have someone who offers this service. I‘d would love her to just take her final nap at home, in a place she’s comfy and knows. Again, I really appreciate you.

[–] pezmaker@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're very welcome, I'm glad I could help, if even a smidge!

[–] wintermutehal@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I appreciate it!