this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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I mean it's generally bad form to attempt to explain why someone is of a particular orientation. You don't say "well you're only gay because you have trauma," because that's fucked up and overtly reductive of a key aspect of their personality.
I don't experience sexual attraction. I still get horny. Orgasms feel great. I get lonely all the time, and still need social interaction. My experience is far from unique amongst asexual people. I don't think it's as simple as a single chemical imbalance.
At the same time, I am scientifically-minded, and understand that my mind arises as a product of the processes of my brain and body. I don't disagree that hormones play as a factor in my orientation, but not everyone in the ace community shares that sentiment, and of course having your orientation chalked up to a specific medical or phychological "quirk" generally feels bad.
If you dont mind me asking what is the difference between sexual attraction and being horny?
Sexual attraction requires a object of attraction, usually a person who you feel the urge to have sex with. Arousal isn't directed.
So does arousal have no trigger in your case¿? Is morning wood an example of such arousal where it is not directed¿?
Basically. Sometimes I just realize I'm horny. If the situation allows, I may go deal with it. I'm sure there have been times where a stimulus of a sexual nature produced an arousal response in me, but never from a desire for intercourse with the object of the stimulus.
Thanks for indulging my curiosity.
No problem. As an aside, and just so you know, my experience may not be unique, but it also does not describe that of all asexual people. There is a WHOLE lot of variation.
Solid