Personal Reflections
Over the past few weeks I've found myself engaged with Beehaw in a fundamentally different way. The explosive growth necessitated shifted timelines, had me prioritizing replies and moderator actions in a different way and in general greatly shifted what parts of the website I spent most of my time on.
This shift changed my perception of the website. I didn't have as much time to spend reading the awesome interactions which resolved themselves, where people were nice to each other and to check out the cool discussions going on. I spent a lot of my time answering questions, devoting a bunch of attention to the neediest, the loudest, or simply whomever was just in my inbox. I ended up stepping into a lot of conversations to help try and defuse or deal with difficult people and directing efforts on helping (collaboratively!) to establish a strong moderation ethos. I recently found myself reflecting on this and realizing I was missing out on the very environment we came here to establish and that I need to set better boundaries for myself.
In order to prioritize my own mental health I'm going to establish the following boundaries for myself:
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I am going to spend more of my time on the site browsing and commenting and less moderating and responding to every question that comes my way. If you ping me to ask a question that other people have already asked or can be answered elsewhere I'm probably not going to answer it anymore.
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As much as I want to treat all of you with the respect and kindness you deserve when intervening as a mod or admin, it's not sustainable at this scale because it quickly becomes all of the time I spend on this site, so I've put together a code of conduct below to help guide expectations of how interactions with myself and other moderators might look.
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I really don't have the time or energy to take suggestions phrased like demands or to entertain anyone talking shit about this place. Instead of suggestions phrased like demands, I'd ask that they are phrased as requests or even better as a plan of action (how are you going to help us accomplish something better, together?). Instead of talking shit, you're free to highlight the flaws you see (ideally in Beehaw support), so long as you're also providing suggestions on how to fix things. Venting about this platform just to vent that it doesn't fit your ideal situation doesn't do the community any good on this platform. Or any platform we're federated with, frankly. If you ever feel the need to vent about this platform then do so to your friends, in DMs, on email, by punching a pillow, or by whispering sweet nothings to the wind on top of your roof- venting here just makes the place depressing and toxic and I don't want to participate in that environment. I want an uplifting, positive space where we enable each other and treat each other with respect.
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It's upsetting to see how certain individuals react to moderators and admins stepping in to try and keep this place safe for minorities or to ensure that there's peace. This is tiring to everyone involved and not sustainable. As much as I like the idea of helping each other become better, some people need a lot more help than we can offer and I think some of us don't have strong enough boundaries on how to engage with that in a healthy manner (I know I've got issues with being taken advantage of because I love pleasing others). To that end, we've drawn up a draft code of conduct to help people understand some healthy boundaries that need to be specified.
Purpose of the Code of Conduct
The purpose of this code of conduct is not to establish new rules (our only rule is to be nice), but to frame what nice behavior looks like so that stronger boundaries can be both respectful and enforced. I've spent a lot of mental and emotional energy educating and diffusing situations on Beehaw in the last few weeks and this is a structure we're providing to show you how to be respectful of the time of the moderators and admins and how to get the best results out of an interaction with us. If we tell you to disengage and you imply that I'm being a fascist for doing so, we're no longer going to bother continuing to try to defuse the situation as some of us have been, because you simply aren't treating us with good faith. As much as I'd like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and to always assume good faith even when they're angrily replying to me, none of us can do that at the scale we've already reached. I've seen a lot of people treating me and other moderators with bad faith and I don't want any of us becoming cold and calloused to our users as a defense mechanism to deal with the abuse.
In case you didn't notice, this post is also a link to the code of conduct.
Good. I'm sick of reading all over the place what fascists the Beehaw moderators are, and I'm sure it's even more exhausting for you, so I'm glad you're drawing these boundaries. I've mentioned it a few places, but there seems to be two camps on what the Fediverse should be. There's the camp that thinks the Fediverse should be a fully unmoderated peer to peer free for all, and there's the camp that thinks the Fediverse should be a distributed governance model in which users are free to choose the admins whose moderation style matches their desired moderation style.
People have a lot of rage at Beehaw for being moderated a certain way, and the questions I always find myself asking are: "Why do you want to engage with a community you do not like?" if the person seems to hate Beehaw, or "Have you considered the possibility that you like the discussions on Beehaw specifically because it's curated that way" when someone seems upset that they need a secondary account to access Beehaw because their main account is on lemmy.world or sh.itjust.works.
I, personally, am in the second of the two camps I described at first. Hence, this is my primary account. I really like it here. I like it a lot. For this reason, I want you to keep doing what you need to keep it being what it is, and if that means you and Alyaza taking breaks, good! I can only imagine that rage is even more exhausting for you fine beefolk since you've invested more of yourselves into making this instance what it is, and you have to deal with it much more constantly.
So take some time to engage as a user. Go to some dance clubs. Go tubing on a river. Love yourself, just as a general concept.
Unfortunately it comes with the territory. When you stick up for the humanity of others, people who benefit from the system fight you because they like the system as it is, they've been subconsciously indoctrinated, or they're afraid of change. I know that I signed up for this and honestly it's not affecting me all that much (I still love you all), but I'm trying to pay close attention to the environment and perceptions of the environment around here and be as transparent as I can about that journey in case it's helpful to anyone out there
Someone on here a few days ago said rules like these are written in blood. I've been around to see what happens when rules like what exist here are not around, and it's not pretty (usually lots of literal Nazis get involved). I know any kind of hostility can sting however absurd it is, but ultimately this criticism can be disregarded as it is made from at best total ignorance. Freedom should extend to the point where it doesn't infringe on the freedom of others and I don't think that's too hard to understand. Some restrictions on negative freedom can enhance positive freedom, and I've really been enjoying freely expressing myself in good faith here without bracing myself for a stupid fight. I've been wanting what this is for many years.
There's also the criticism that I've seen multiple times about "having to write an essay to be allowed in" when 1) I wrote maybe 3 sentences total for all of the questions, 2) it's kind of a bare minimum vibe check to make sure you aren't going to raise hell, and 3) even setting all that aside, anyone from an instance that is federated with Beehaw can interact with us so it's not like they're missing out on anything. It's literally people being upset at nothing if they really are interested in participating in the community in any way. They just resent the smallest of obstacles (which aren't even obstacles since, again, you can still interact as a member of another instance). It just reeks of bad faith arguments that can be discarded out of hand.
I am not really active on any other nodes. I am new in the concept of federated lemmy instances and completely out of touch with mastodon or any other social media based on similar principles (I only check beehaw announcements in situations like yesterday), so I have not witnessed this (or maybe most of what @Gaywallet@beehaw.org refers to in the OP). But I felt conflicted in the opposite direction when I decided to sign up after having read the documents. After a couple of weeks of lurking and watching the application of what is described in the documents I actually wanted to write an essay in the sign up form and I tried quite hard to keep it short ("It will be read by a real person"). After more than 2 decades in various online communities and platforms, there simply are way too many reasons that justify what I was feeling. Which can simply be summarized as "I am really very happy I found this community".
I felt the same when I applied. It's someone's time. Be honest and direct, they will get it and that's the reason you want to join.
I think it's telling when they call answering a few question an "essay", but then will happily engage in 100x longer flame wars about nothing. Sounds like being minimally thoughtful feels too tiring to some.
For some time I scrolled without account and when there is something interesting I would reply through my mastodon account. I also made posts from mastodon. Moderation is necessary for a community to build and for productive discussions
I think a mix of naïveté and bad faith is driving the "Fediverse should be wholly unmoderated" camp. Some people who haven't yet learned the lesson of online moderation yet, and some who are hoping to rope in some people who haven't learned it yet to their twisted world view
Eternal September, "There's a sucker born every minute", Barnum effect, lucky 10,000, and so on. I mean, it's nothing new. On the plus side —I guess— it means the Fediverse is growing 🤷
I really want to make a philosophy post on the effects of individualism on moderation...
I'm really curious, and ready to read that post
Please do. Don't fell pressure to write elaborate essays if the thought is incomplete. Opening discussions attract others in the same boat.
How many social media services need to circle the drain that is the alt-right hate speech/extremism pipeline before we all admit that, maybe, there are a lot of toxic people out there who WANT that to happen, and we might be happier if we just told them up front that they are not welcome?
Honestly, I have no problem whatsoever. If Beehaw is not for me, I'll find someplace new. And the alt-right folks can go set up their own Fediverse node if they want. Good luck to 'em.
While true, some communities are too quick to ban, and offer too few (like zero) opportunities for explaining oneself or any attempt at redemption. I hope this won't become one of those.
They have, several. A relatively famous one imploded when its admin finally realized that some of the "free speech" people posing as Nazis... were not just posing, but actual believers. There is a hilarious/cringe last post on archive.org.
Ah shit. I need to see this. Happen to have it handy?
trigger warning, click at your own risk
Wolfballs Shutting downThe current attempt seems to be exploding-heads (not linking to that).
When I hear people calling the admins/mods here fascists, having read their ideas and literally read some of their modlogs, it usually tells me all I need to know about the person calling them a fascist haha
Some people will scream fascism at absolutely everything except actual fascism. That they consider freedom, and think you're a fascist for trying to stop it.
Insane world out there. At least there's Beehaw 💖