this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024
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[–] hansl@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ask once, be clean about it, look like a dork for a few minutes, if she says no, let it go and never mention it again.

The annoying creep is likely to do ask her out twice a week.

Theres no way to ask without looking weird, but the follow up is what distinguishes regular guys from creeps.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 38 points 10 months ago (2 children)

There's no need to even ask them out right away. Just having a casual conversation and making them speak of their interests can warm them to you.

Are they your coworker? Sigh at how needy clients are, tell how you want to have a break, ask what they want to do when they have them. Discuss details.

A cinema worker is harder, but you can play a dummy and ask them if they see the movies screened there and can vouch for some of them or if they can suggest some snack from a bar, to break the ice.

People like talking about themselves. All have hilarious stories to tell. One needs to make them open up and react in a supportive way. Looking up interviewers on youtube can get one a better idea of how it's done than these greesy pick-up artists. Genuinely enjoying a conversation rather than being hungry for a pussy\dick and making it all about yourself is a great start.

[–] Custoslibera@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Great advice 10/10.

If you go in trying to bed them you’re likely going to crash and burn.

Just try to make them a friend it’s a win win win because if you hit it off then you get a friend, if the attraction is reciprocated you may get relationship, if they aren’t interested in you but see you as a good person they may try to set you up with a friend of theirs that is single.

Can’t lose with this method.

[–] Drusas@kbin.social 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

What you describe is absolutely the way to do it without looking weird. Don't be aggressive about it, accept a no or an awkward silence or similar as being a no, respond in a pleasant tone and not an aggressive one, and you should be pretty good to go without being seen as a creep, as long as you don't repeat it later. Of course, don't make a point of going around hitting on women in gyms or who are at work, but it can be done tactfully.