this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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Mario, Bowser, and Peach are playing pretend wars over nothing, whilst hanging out every other weekend.
Meanwhile thousands of Goomba, Koopas, Shyguys, et al. die in these senseless acts of violence to sate the twisted desires of the rulers.
I sense it’s time for revolution.
It gets better
In Sunshine, Peach was genuinely confused as to whether she was actually baby bowser's mom. The only way that happens is if you fuck on the regular and do a LOT of drugs
So not only are they sacrificing more troops than a PS3-era musou on the reg, they are doing it to play act some REALLY kinky sex fantasies.
Or the bad guy assaulted and drugged a kidnap victim, wouldn't be too far-fetched if we're going down that horrible road.
Troopa Uprising would be a cool idea for a Mario game. Instead of fighting Bowser, Mario has to keep him safe from his lieutenants who represent and command each of the species in Bowser's army.
The plot twist would be that Mario then has to protect Peach from a Toadstool uprising for the same reason.
Funny idea, but I feel like a game about the political elite crushing a revolution of the people isn't something that would ring well with a lot of folks, haha.
They'll release a paid dlc on launch where you get to play as toad, and a year and a half later they'll release another dlc where you get to play as a goomba