this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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[–] Mabexer@feddit.it 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

For my age (late twenties) I wouldn't say they are great achievements, but as a person which struggles a little bit in social settings I still feel proud.

  • I went to therapy for the first time to learn more about my social anxiety.
  • Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it.
  • Started going to the gym, progress is slow, but I feel motivated.
  • Travelled with a couple of friends outside my country.

When things are in motion it gets easier, other than that for me it is constantly trying to get out of my comfort zone.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it."

I gotta tell you: nothing more liberating than this. I've discovered I feel regret when not doing this kind of things. If I don't make my move, then they get a partner, I'm haunted by the question "could that guy have been me?" But if I say something, get rejected, then they get a partner, I actually feel happy for her, for she got someone she likes, just like I want someone I like.

The important thing is to let things go after getting a no. It is your duty to do the best you can for the friendship to continue as usual. Got rejected? No big deal. Let's move on. Cookout my place, everyone invited. Passive aggressive comments, making guilt-tripping faces or gestures, texting looong messages, or asking "why, why, think about it, give me a chance, what do they have that I don't" etc, no. Don't do that!! Plenty of fish out there.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Having come out of a relationship in my late 20s, I am sorely missing this. It's been ages since I had a crush. Everyone I know is in relationships already, I can't even find someone to reject me...

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Mid-40s here. You're probably in a dry spell. But it shall pass, friend.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 2 points 10 months ago

It's ok! I'm willing to wait. Good things are coming, I know that. And it'll be better than jumping into something too soon.