this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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Other people already gave you on why it's not hbomberguy's fault and I don't have anything to add to that.
But I think maybe it would help you figure out, what you are sad about or what you feel bad for? And maybe this hasn't anything to do with hbomberguy? What I mean is, maybe you are seeing Somerton, his mental health problems, his situation and feeling bad for him. And I get it, I feel bad for his situation, too. But being raised by narcissists and having been in a long term relationship with an abusive chronic liar, I know that feeling bad for someone like this won't help neither you, the other person or anyone they've harmed. It only gives them more fuel to keep on continuing like they've done before. I don't know how to deal best with people like this apart from setting boundaries and keeping my distance. If you're only forgiving without setting boundaries, they will abuse and exploit you. James Somerton was already a mess before he was called out, now he has to face the consequences for his harmful actions and it is hard on everybody. But better to call him out and make him stop his abuse than keep going. You can have empathy with perpetrators but it doesn't help with making them stop.