this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I see fan-art or scenes of a woman using her chest as basically a pillow for someone. It's cute and all, but I can't help think if that hurts for the woman, especially if her breasts are large?

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[–] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It’s really more supporting your head on their ribs between their breasts.

Girls never understand how calming and relaxing that is for some reason.

Might be better to say mine didn’t.

A high physical affection person with a low one makes for an awkward and anxious relationship.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If you've never read up on "attachment styles," I found that concept to be extremely helpful. There's a book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Dating that I found great, despite feeling a bit silly over the title.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It seems like they're alluding to "love languages", but I believe attachment styles are something else

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

It's similar, but not quite the same. For example, an avoidant attachment style will tend to avoid getting close, an anxious attachment style will fear being abandoned. Put them together and you get a constant cycle of the anxious person drawing close to the avoidant person. The avoidant person pulls away. The anxious person eventually gets wounded. Now the avoidant person turns on the love mode to draw them back in. Rinse and repeat. It's awful.

That's a simplified version. But that's the basic gist. It's how you operate in relationships from a fundamental level, more than what makes you feel loved.