this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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Autism

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lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let's try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I'm coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it's so annoying when my family, who knows I'm autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I've explained multiple times that I'm not trying to be rude and I'm just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn't work. I just don't understand why I have to say "hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)" in some high pitched voice when I could just say, "can you not let the dogs tangle?" in a tone that conveys I'm serious. it's so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I'm having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it's helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I've tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they've been unsuccessful but I'm continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it's not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.

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[–] _Tom_@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People suck. Unfortunately I find I'm constantly having to cater to other people's feelings but when something upsets me, I'm still somehow in the wrong.

[–] ethman42@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Everyone feels this. We are all unwilling partners in a dance we didn’t choreograph.

[–] neonfire@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Yes, this is life. We all feel like this almost all the time.