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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[–] SerotoninSwells@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity, was this the dynamic growing up and prior to the move? I just wonder if your father is a narcissist. If you were always blamed while your siblings could do no wrong then there's a strong chance that's the issue.

Regardless, I'm so sorry about how your father has treated you. I feel like I can relate in some way. As an adult it's taken some time to sort through those past issues. It's hard to come to the realization that a parent can't be what you want or need them to be.

Someone else in the comments mentioned therapy and I just want to echo that. There's nothing wrong with it and I think everyone should do sessions with an expert in their life. I hope you can find some peace regardless. Best of luck OP.