this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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the details aren't super important and i'm not going to go into particular depth here but, in summary: i am on break. the burnout is quite bad. the "avalanche analogy" is pretty apt for what i'm dealing with here.

if you've never heard the "avalanche analogy" before, it is this: no individual snowflake is the problem, but the accumulation in an avalanche is still catastrophic.

individually, nothing i have dealt with so far―technical stuff, users, situations, arguments on here, etc.―have been issues that make me want to not use the site. the accumulation though is currently unbearable, even on this fairly small size. effectively all the time i―or any other admin, for that matter―am on here, i am being constantly paged with things to handle; people to sort out and placate; content to remove; bug issues to delegate; and all while having hundreds of people make contradictory suggestions to me i have to make sense of, balance, and generally hear nonstop while being expected to act like a service worker. it's pretty draining!

accordingly, i have not logged in for about a week (or really done anything with the site, for that matter) and even thinking about it is exhausting. so things aren't great. it's pretty clear i need to extensively step back―which i've already been doing because i'd like to actually, eventually use the site i help co-run here again. i don't feel good about just dipping without saying anything longer than i already have though, hence this post.

i'd ideally like to be back sometime next week, but i obviously can't promise that. it'll happen when it happens. please do not page me in the mean time with site stuff―it will be ignored.

thanks

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[–] gaael@beehaw.org 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Really sorry to read this. Thank you and kudos for being able to communicate like you did.

I hope you manage to take your time and take care of yourself. From my burnout experience, I can say it's likely we usually underestimate (by a lot) the amount of time and distance we need before coming back.

Please don't feel you have to come back next week because you said so, and don't feel like you owe us anything in terms of communication / visibility - it matters so much less important than giving yourself the healing space and time you need.

I also hope the admin team finds ways to protect themselves.