this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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On the other hand, it would be a super useful bucket-brigade within the rules as-written
Pseudo telegram could also work within the "kind of works if you squint" framework of it without bumping into the "now we ignore RAW and use actual physics for the final attack" bit
If you want to set up a proper telegram system with D&D tech, Magic Mouth is a better choice. Let's say you set them up onto poles that are spaced 30 feet apart, 4 magic mouths per pole. Say, the line is going east-west:
Each pole costs 40 GP to set up, so this telegram is rather expensive, costing 7040 gp per mile... but once it's set up, it doesn't sleep, doesn't need payment, doesn't need maintenance, just two people on each end with a binary code table. You could say that these are skilled hirelings, working in 3 shifts that means that the upkeep of both ends of a line is 12 gp per day.
Peasants shouting the message... well, to make it absolutely sure that the message is heard, you need to put a messaging post every 100 feet. (Loud noises are audible at 2d6×50 feet per the DM screen.) If they are working in 3 shifts, that's 6 sp per day per post, making the upkeep of the line ~32 gp per mile. Thus the magic mouth setup would become cheaper after only 220 days.
Monodrones are probably much more reliable for that. Or you can straight-up use monodrones to set up a proper Clacks system.
Or to move anything really. That's why I think they should rename it to the peasant railway.
Could transport a bucket of water from the Atlantic ocean to anywhere on Earth in three seconds.
With a sufficient number of peasants, sure.
I always thought that was all it was intended for, a niche situation where it was necessary to move something quickly. Not everything in D&'D can be solved by damage rolls.
Love it. Sure, the boss takes no damage from the impact, but did you give him any ranks in swim?