this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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Well, I spend the first half of the year with depression so bad I rarely left my bed and basically didn't work for 6 months straight. I've spent the second half of the year finally on working depression meds again and spending every spare cent on mortgage repayments so I can keep my house. Those should be finishing up early next year so next year is going to be my year because if anything this has taught me how to survive on very little money so I will feel positively rich compared to before.
So this year was a bust but I'm going to get so much shit done next year. I'm thinking my house (which currently looks like a crackhouse) is due for a whole lot of remoddling next year.
Good for you for working on your depression!
Thank you. It wasn't much I did though. I just spun the wheel of pharmacology a few times and finally got it to land on the right med. The only reason it got so bad this time was because it took a few more spins than usual to hit the right one. So far that was the unluckiest I've ever been in that regard.
still, you managed to create the strenght to have hope, patience and stick to the treatment even if you may have felt tired, anxious and unwilling to keep fighting.
imagine a car squeezing out every last drop of gas (wrong gas!) until reaching the next station. normally, cars wouldn't even be able to move. yet you are doing it!
many people (maybe you among them for now) can't realize about such a feat, but... holy s*it.
yeah. even with crippling depression, they are managing to create their own strength to fight and do stuff.
also, i think it's wiser and smarter to focus on one important thing now, than getting anxious about not doing 173927 things, trying to do them and failing, and feeling even worse. (anyway, healthy people can't do many things either, but they don't feel so guilty/worthless, those are more depression symptoms).
also, we are talking about depression, which is downplayed and misunderstood most of the time. aboulia, anhedonia, apathy and avolition are horrible yet invisible symptoms. someday science will be able to measure them and show people how disabling they are, and realize the amazing merit of people unadvertly fighting them everyday.
because the lemmitor is fighting against it, and sharing it with us. that is so nice. i think things will get better for them. even if they may think it's not much, many of us know it's a lot, bc we know how depression works. the 'achievement curve' may look slow or plane for now to them, but we know it's not: it's going higher every day it passes.
so keep on, pal! ๐ช