this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2023
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Not at all, dish homie but as a single 35 year old man I have legitimately no answers and certainly not good ones. All I can recommend is talk to people with the relationships you want and try to figure out how they make it work.
I've tried both being emotionally available and being myself rather outwardly unemotional and I've been stabbed in the back both ways. I like to think I'm just looking for the wrong people or the wrong people are looking for me but honestly I'm not quite sure.
As far as I can work out, a man who is cold and hardened isn't entertaining enough, and a man who is emotional and vulnerable is a burden. What women want is performative entertainment; in the words of Phillip J. Fry, "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them."
There was another discussion recently somewhere on the Fediverse about online dating and how utterly terrible it is. I made the point that I've been adequately successful at meeting women in person, but have never once succeeded in online dating. I'm currently single because I don't leave the house. "Why don't I leave the house then?"
I guess because I've had my fill of what's on offer.