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I dated a woman who was polyamorous and I was fine with it.
When she found someone else she was also interested in, she asked me if that was an issue, but I was still fine with it.
The other guy wasn't fine with it.
She chose to stay with him and dumped me.
Sounds like she wasn't really polyamorous. She was just dating around.
That sounds like someone who was exploring, and I offer my sympathy / empathy.
Poly is a choice. Handling disagreement/drama is a choice. Hell, which issues I choose to lose my mind over is a choice.
My model is disclosure and honesty, unfortunately, not everyone behaves that way / is sincere.
I sincerely hope that you've found the right types of connections for you and yours.