this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
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Autism

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Lately, whenever I am not working, I feel tired all the time and unmotivated to do anything. Even things I like doing. I almost have to force myself to do these things. It's quite difficult. I don't even know if it's a good idea. However, I want to get my life to a point where I am happy with how things are.

What can I do, when I still have to meet the demands of life? I'm honestly struggling a lot with getting normal daily chores and self-care tasks done. This has in part, been going on for some months now. I was previously in a job that was quite unfulfilling. Even now, I don't like what I'm doing but it is a little better. I have an idea on what I want to do in the future. But it will require a year or two, to reach properly.

In the meantime, I have to attempt to self-regulate, which is really difficult. While taking on some new challenges at the same time. Not to mention, social demands as well. I want time off from work for awhile, but I can't take it off. I will be getting time off a bit into next year. For now, I just have to put up with the demands I have to reach. Living independently has a degree of strain to it. But it's better than living with my parents.

Has anyone got any ideas on how I can manage this? I don't know how I'm going to manage my way through these things. I'm honestly dreading it.

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[–] shootwhatsmyname@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Not a full solution by any means, but I’ve been using this calendar called Reclaim that has really helped me make time to rest and still get everything done. It automatically schedules everything for you into your Google Calendar based on restraints, as well as any habits or meetings. It’s really helped me prioritize better and see everything I’m doing in one place. The best part is when I add something to my calendar, like a dentist appt for example, it will automatically move everything around for me while still keeping my top priorities at the forefront of my schedule. It’s kinda hard to explain, there’s a lot more to it, but yeah just a tool that has worked really really well for me so far. I think there’s a solid free plan too.

Ultimately, you need to make time for genuine actual rest. Rest is very productive. Get outside, get a glass of water, take a nap—let yourself feel how you actually feel for a moment and be okay with it. Be okay with not being productive in that time too. There’s very real things we need to do in life, but we are not machines. We need rest. Scrolling on your phone or snacking isn’t rest though—it cannot be unhealthy coping, it’s gotta be intentional and good for the soul.

Last thing that has helped me is trying to find fun in the boring stuff. I know it sounds lame, but the idea is that we have the ability to change our feelings and perspectives towards things. Make the boring daily things fun in your mind, learn ways you can enjoy them, let the wonder creep in, and change things up in your environment to make it less dreary and monotonous.

And hey, you got a support network here. Sometimes we need help through the practical stuff, but sometimes there’s some deep emotional stuff we aren’t aware of and we need to process through. Either way, don’t ever do it alone. There’s some pretty incredible people here with some pretty incredible life experience. Don’t give up—we’re gonna get through this together.

[–] cogitoprinciple@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I appreciate some of your ideas. The reclaim calendar sounds good. Though, I don't use Google. But will check if it can work with other calendars.

It's good I have this community. It has helped me a lot as an autistic adult. It's murky waters when you're still waiting for your autism assessment, and don't have access to resources.