Hezbollah is a Shiite Muslim political party and militant group based in Lebanon, where its extensive security apparatus, political organization, and social services network have fostered its reputation as “a state within a state.” Founded in the chaos of the fifteen-year Lebanese Civil War, the Shiite group is driven by its opposition to Israel and its resistance to Western influence in the Middle East.
Led since 1992 by its Secretary-General Hassan Nasrallah. Hezbollah's paramilitary wing is the Jihad Council, and its political wing is the Loyalty to the Resistance Bloc party in the Lebanese Parliament.
Hezbollah was established in the wake of the 1982 Lebanon War by Lebanese clerics who had studied in Najaf. It adopted the model set out by Ayatollah Khomeini after the Iranian Revolution in 1979, and the party's founders adopted "Hezbollah" as the name chosen by Khomeini. The organization was created with the support of 1,500 Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps instructors, and aggregated a variety of Lebanese Shia groups into a unified organization to resist the Israeli occupation of Southern Lebanon.
During the Lebanese Civil War, Hezbollah's 1985 manifesto listed its objectives as the expulsion of "the Americans, the French and their allies definitely from Lebanon, putting an end to any colonialist entity on our land". From 1985 to 2000, Hezbollah also participated in the 1985–2000 South Lebanon conflict against the South Lebanon Army (SLA) and Israel Defense Forces (IDF), and fought again with the IDF in the 2006 Lebanon War. During the 1990s, Hezbollah also organized volunteers to fight for the Army of the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina during the Bosnian War.
Since 1990, Hezbollah has participated in Lebanese politics, in a process which is described as the Lebanonisation of Hezbollah, and it later participated in the government of Lebanon and joined political alliances. After the 2006–08 Lebanese protests and clashes, a national unity government was formed in 2008, with Hezbollah and its opposition allies obtaining 11 of 30 cabinet seats, enough to give them veto power. In August 2008, Lebanon's new cabinet unanimously approved a draft policy statement that recognizes Hezbollah's existence as an armed organization and guarantees its right to "liberate or recover occupied lands" (such as the Shebaa Farms). Hezbollah is part of Lebanon's March 8 Alliance, in opposition to the March 14 Alliance. It maintains strong support among Lebanese Shia Muslims, while Sunnis have disagreed with its agenda. Hezbollah also has support in some Christian areas of Lebanon.
Since 2012, Hezbollah involvement in the Syrian civil war has seen it join the Syrian government in its fight against the Syrian opposition. Between 2013 and 2015, the organisation deployed its militia in both Syria and Iraq to fight or train local militias to fight against the Islamic State.
From 2006, the group's military strength grew significantly, to the extent that its paramilitary wing became more powerful than the Lebanese Army. Hezbollah has been described as a "state within a state", and has grown into an organization with seats in the Lebanese government, a radio and a satellite TV station, social services and large-scale military deployment of fighters beyond Lebanon's borders.The group currently receives military training, weapons, and financial support from Iran and political support from Syria, although the sectarian nature of the Syrian war has damaged the group's legitimacy. In 2021, Nasrallah said the group had 100,000 fighters.
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gonna do some mental health journaling/venting again for like whatever many times now. CW: self harm
spoiler
I worried someone today and I didn't mean to. That person has been really kind and listening and constantly dealing with my bs. I really didn't mean to make that person worry for me. Things just feel very difficult than ever before. Along with that, then there so many worries or things. Today for a brief moment I was worried I might be losing some hair from all this stress and from like not eating or being very dehydrated at times. But I manage to deal with it by like just taking a few breathes and remembering I have worried about that before and nothing happened. But before that, it was worry of that dryer machine.then yesterday it was worrying over my dad, and his cough that not getting better. This reminds me of something but like. I tend to notice things with my dad, like if my dad not doing well or okay or something up, but when something wrong on my end, he doesn't notice. Maybe I'm just really good at hiding, but I doubt it. He thought like for the last few years I been doing fine when I haven't been. like fuck, I can self harm visibly now. no one fucking cares. no point in hiding it if no one gives a shit. I only do it when I feel very overwhelmed, but at least I always felt like, the need to hide it because someone gonna say something and I don't want that attention. but doesn't really matter anyways if no one really gives a shit. also I haven't self harm in a month now. and I talked to my therapist about last time I did, and I'm working on it.
anyways things just feel like. where I am collected before being split apart, and then I have to spend the rest of the day or days, cooling off and collecting myself. but then another spike hits me at my core and sends all my shards flying all over. and then I have to recollect all those shards again and cool off, but then another spike. and how many times can that keep going on? until I no longer want to collect my shards anymore? it can't continue forever. but then again I thought that for this year and last, and yet I am still here. still trying to just get through the night.
I think I really need to find some other way to better de-stress since that would probably do a lot. It would be nice if I could do therapy weekly again instead of monthly, but no can't do that because my dad won't drive me if it's weekly because it means having to be reliable and not drink. maybe im being too hard on him, but doesn't help he thinks I'm being ripped off. one of the main reasons I am even bothered trying fucking therapy again is because of him. also why do I need to be the one therapy, but not him? or my mom when she was alive? always on me but never on my dad or my mom.
I should also probably walk more again, since I haven't really been doing it much, because it's been getting too cold outside. Also it would be nice if I had more ways to get away from my dad. He was gone for a few days last week which was nice. It was nice to have some space. Be cool if motels weren't assholes because I did try to get away in july for one night but noo motels don't serve locals because fuck me I guess.
I'm just tired of constantly being in this environment that I been in since forever. meanwhile my family managed to get away. and then it feels like I'm blamed for not doing enough or for not trying hard enough or for not "simply" just leaving, like its that fucking easy to just leave when it isn't. whatever, at least for tonight I am doing okay again. things are back in the green for now
Sorry you are dealing with all of this… you could see maybe if your therapist does telehealth? Many do now.
Just curious are you getting any exercise? I’m completely off meds atm due to a bunch of bullshit and I find it really helps me avoid the worst of depression
I could try telehealth, since my therapist does offer it. but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable doing that. Because I don't want my dad to overhear some things or hear me talking about some stuff, but I'll think about it. I could maybe do it if my dad wasn't always home. and I was getting exercise like with pull ups or running a little, but I kind of stopped sometime ago, I dunno when, but I should try getting back into that.
Your dad has a car right? Bc he drives you to appointments? You could always take the telehealth calls from the car.
If not do you think it could be something you can draw a hard line on— like “I need to do this for myself and need privacy for it so you need to find somewhere else to be for 30 mins a week”? It’s really not a huge ask
He does have a car and he does drive me. but I'm not sure if I can do that because he doesn't really trust me around his car much. Like I have a driver's license and I know how to drive, and he still doesn't let me drive his car. and at the beginning of this year he berated me out for shutting his door too "hard" because he thought I "slammed" it every time. when like, I been shutting it like I always have for the last few years and it's never been an issue but suddenly I was shutting it too "hard". and I don't slam his door shut. so i'm not sure how he would feel about me just sitting in it alone other than it would probably be seen as negative. that like im intruding on his space or something like that.
and I don't think I can ask him of that for that other thing. His house, his rules and everything and he will probably see it very negatively. something like viewing it as something like "who are you to ask that of me?" something like that I dunno, but something along those lines.
but like I can't really even hang out with my mom's friend because he starts to like, get really.. not sure how to word it. First time I hung out with my mom's friend, he started to get very worried, acting like I was kidnapped and wanted me home, and if I didn't immediately respond to his texts and get home soon, he was gonna call the police. because he was worried I'd gone missing despite it being only 4 hours. And the second time, after telling him like I'm fine and everything. He still like texted me a lot and then got mad when I ignored his texts being like "oh I see how it is" and just.
It might be a lot to ask, especially because last year he did kick me out of his house for like a week, for confronting him on his drinking after he made me upset. but I just bring that up because there is like some sort of like, power? something like that. at least when he drunk.
and It's complicated. like it would be a different story when he's sober, but it's very unpredictable when he will be sober one day or not.
I dunno, but maybe I could find somewhere that has enough privacy, and maybe able to take a call somewhere. and maybe I could walk somewhere to if needed, as long as it's not too cold out or something.
Basement? Attic? Crawlspace? ;)
I’m sure you will find a way. You’re obv a good and caring person, I’m always impressed by your empathy